Home Cooked - BENGALS REDSKINS LIVE BLOG

1:00: Just clicked to CBS and was greeted by a Kevin Harlan monologue and a Robert Griffin motivational speech. I could probably run through a wall right now. IT'S GAME TIME!

1:03: Wildcat chicanery. 73 yrd bomb to AJ Green for the TD. Don't even care that it was thrown by a rookie wideout. More pissed that it was D Hall with the assignment on arguably the best young receiver in the game.

By the way, I'm a dog person. I dislike cats. Of all varieties. Add wildcats to that.

1:06: Stand corrected. Free safety DaJon Gomes on the blown TD pass. We'll just slide my animosity one slot over in the backfield.

1:09: Injury timeout as the trainers check out Trent Williams. B/c the Redskins have the kind of O line depth where they can afford injuries to starters. Note: My pants are aflame.

1:12: After a couple of nice runs by Alfred Morris, we have an injury to Williams, fumbled snap by Griffin, and a failed 3rd down conversion. Nausea is imminent.

1:15: By the by, it's never a good sign when your injured lineman responds to treatment by planting both hands on the sides of his head.

1:16: Rob Jackson just saved the early portion of my day. Pick six IN THE CINCY ENDZONE for the score. No words. 7 all.

1:18: On the pick, it was Ryan Kerrigan providing the pressure on Andy Dalton to force the bad throw. Sidebar - I would have a hard time taking orders from a QB with a first name ending in Y.

1:20: Other notable QB goofsballs w/ names ending in Y: Tony Romo, Joey Harrington.

1:23: Quick observation - three kickoffs, none of which resulted in a touchback. This means nothing to anyone but me.

1:25: Bengals doing next to nothing on the ground but they are moving down field with the pass. Super excited to have a shaky secondary holding down the fort.

1:27: Bengals fail to convert on 3rd down. And the refs manage to (correctly) flag Cincy for a hold. The world, she works.

By the way, the NFL is working with replacement refs. I'm not sure you heard. Earlier in the drive, there was a missed holding call. The man who was held in both holding situations? Kerrigan. He might be a problem today.

1:32: FYI, this isn't likely to gain me any brownie points but I'm writing all this with only seven good fingers. The three bum digits are heavily bandaged. Try not to count the typos.

1:37: Bengals with their fourth possession and the 'Skins are winning the battle at the line. Elsewhere? Not so much. Armon Binns beats Wilson along the seam and takes it 48 yds for the score. Suffice it to say, the secondary is a disaster.

1:42: I've written next to nothing about the Skins offense thus far. There's a reason and it's not good.

1:43: Jordan Black, the replacement for Trent Williams, has been getting killed and Griffin has been rocked twice as a result. Nervous doesn't begin to describe.

1:45: For all the issues in the secondary, if AJ Green doesn't have a personal, two man, burgundy colored security detail for the rest of this game, I'm calling for Haslett's head.

1:49: Skins down 7 and CBS runs a Dallas TD highlight. Next up, James Brown swings by to kick my dog.

1:53: Bengals starting to move the ball on the ground and in the air as they enter the red zone. Only thing worse than giving up a big play on defense is getting chewed up slowly and methodically.

1:56: Bengals with a fake FG try (failed). No points after a drive of four minutes plus. Marvin Lewis must really have fond memories of his days in DC. Otherwise, I have no explanation for what I just saw.

1:59: Dear Kyle Shanahan, we get it. Griffin can run. He's going to get hit enough, esp. with Trent Williams out. STOP WITH THE F**KING QB RUNS. Thank you.

2:01: The offensive play calling today has been suspect at best. Haven't seen any of the roll outs for Griffin thus far. I thought those worked pretty well. Would make sense to keep Griffin on the move w/ Trent out of the game. Just saying.

2:07: Perry Riley just had a nice pass defensed. Sidebar - he's awful on Twitter though.

2:12: Bengals up two scores, 17-7, with under five minutes to play in the half. Trent makes a Willis Reed like return. Matters not, as Griffin fumbles the option pitch to Morris. Cincy recovers in Skins territory and I make a B line for a bottle Great Lakes Oktoberfest brew. F**k.

2:17: One yd TD score for the one man law firm, Ben Jarvis Green-Ellis. Makes it 24-7 Cincy. Upside - this beer is awesome.

2:18: This is our home opener, right?

2:20: Nice decision by Shanny, to have Cincy re-kick. Banks returns it 55 to give skins their best field position. Offense looks like they could screw up a ham sandwich right now so I'm not confident they'll do anything with the position.

2:23: After almost 30 minutes of football, I've got four different pronunciations of Rey Maualuga's name thus far. Could be a fun drinking game (if you're into that kind of thing).

2:29: Taking a pause to actually watch how this two minute drive goes. Points or I start binge drinking.

2:31: Points, binge on hold temporarily. 24-10 Tiger cats as we head to half.

2:54: That five minute blog break was brought to you by the Washington offense. Decent 80 yd drive ends with Morris on a nifty run from inside the 10 to bring DC within 7. Score is 24-17 striped tabbies.

2:57: Nice shot of Morris on the bench with his helmet on as we come out of the commercial. As if to say, "I'm keeping my hat on. Eff you guys."

3:01: Only worse than that first half is the news that they are singing 'Viva Los Redskins' instead of "Hail To The Redskins". That's all I'm going to say.

3:03: Can't tell you how much time I spent watching NFL Films clips as a kid. Very sad losing Steve Sabol. Great of the NFL and CBS to pay tribute, loved the spot they ran earlier.

3:07: Sidebar - Skins started the 2nd half with an 80 yard TD drive, I started with a Great Lakes Nosferatu, a seasonal imperial red ale. I think we both scored.

3:08: Skins moving the ball but the double and triple option plays are driving my blood pressure up exponentially, no matter how well it's working.

3:13: The designed QB run is also adding to my health woes.

3:15: No matter. It's a new ballgame. 24 all. BTW, orange stinks as a team color.

3:19: After a 20 yd strike from Dalton to AJ Green, BJGE breaks the space time continuum and puts the ball on the turf. (First of his career.) Skins recover, and somewhere, there's a naked, overweight, DJ roaming the streets of northern Virginia.

3:22: To say the Skins' defense is playing better in the 2nd half would be like saying ... the Skins' defense is playing better in the 2nd half.

3:24: Put aside the fact that Nike has enslaved the impoverished people of my homeland. I love their product. But I would be remiss if I didn't mention the terribly unfortunate sweat zones on their NFL jerseys. Specifically, the stomach and underarm patches. Can't say I remember a single Reebok jersey looking that awkwardly sweaty.

3:27: I love Alfred Morris. Drives forward like a truck driver with an open passing lane.

3:38: A host of officiating issues I won't go into detail explaining. After Skins fail to score, Bengals come back with an 80 yard drive to go back up 7. 31-24 Ligers.

3:41: More than 11 minutes to play and the Skins are down a score with no timeouts. I'm assuming my BP is something like 450 over 80.

3:43: Kyle, enough.

3:46: Skins forced to kick after a missed 3rd down conversion, preceded by an awful no-call on 2nd down. Hankerson basically had his shoelaces tied together by the secondary while the back judge checked his Twitter feed on his sweet new iPhone (I'm assuming).

3:51: A sh*tshow on wheels. Dalton to Hawkins to put Cincy up two TDs. If you're counting at home, that's TD passing plays of 73, 48, and 59 yards. Oh, throw in a six yard TD pass too (you're know, for balance).

3:53: Hard to believe this is a defense entering it's third year in the same scheme, not to mention the fact the Skins added a former head coach to manage the secondary. Actually showing signs of regression across the board.

3:58: Skins and Griffin using the sidelines to try and get back into this game. They'll need to.

3:59: Regardless of what happens, the Griffin to Fred Davis connection makes me warm.

4:02: Skins driving. Having a hard time processing why the clock didn't stop on the Hankerson grab as he trotted out of bounds. If you want to say he stepped out fine, but he did get clocked on the sideline after going out of bounds. Late hit if you ask me.

4:03: Dear Commissioner Goodell, GFY.

4:04: Commissioner Goodell, seriously, I'm as qualified as most replacement refs. I have Sundays free. Take me off Skins games and you got yourself a deal  steal.

4:09: Niles Paul = most unpopular Redskin of 2012. And it's only Week 3. Josh Morgan begs to differ but I stand by that proclamation.

4:11: One score game as we hit the 2 minute warning. I have to pee. DAMNIT.

4:15: 1:47 to play and the Skins start from the 1. Eternal damnation.

4:17: Odd that Griffin would paint the sidelines on the previous drive but then opt to go up the middle w/ less than two minutes left.

4:24: Clusterf*ck on iceskates. I have no idea what just happened. Game ends with a last second heave by Griffin that lands harmlessly somewhere in Hyattsville. Bungles almost give it all back, hang on to win 38-31.

4:29: A wholly unsatisfying performance from the Redskins. Defense made strides in the second half but the big plays made it impossible for the offense to comeback. Griffin was good in spots but inconsistent reading the defense and throwing the ball. Replacement officials made us continue to yearn for Ed Hocculi and co.

4:31: If you read all this, I hope you were drinking. I sure was. Sidebar - our defense from 2-3 years ago would have slit some throats to have 30+ points scored just once in a game. This team has done it three straight weeks. Anyway, enjoy the rest of your Sunday, kids. I've got a drink calling my name. Adios.

Wait, what day is it? - COWBOYS - GIANTS LIVE BLOG

8:41: Can't tell if Queen Latifah was lip syncing. Also as perplexing: Queen wearing Peyton's number on a Giants jersey. With rhinestones no less.

8:42: Forgive me if I seem at a loss for words right now. Still trying to convince myself that I just saw a kickoff that didn't go for a touchback. Seems like ... years.

8:45: After the G-men go three and out, the Cowboys promptly respond with ... one of their own. White knuckle action, folks. WELCOME BACK, FOOTBALL!!

8:51: Who had the first botched penalty call from a replacement ref at three minutes and 20 seconds into the first quarter? I was betting sooner.

8:54: Seriously, it's Wednesday.

8:59: If we ever get a Tuesday season opener, I'm not sure there will be a happy marriage anywhere in this country.

9:02: Ten minutes into the first quarter, and we're just getting the first team across midfield. Not quite a symphony of sport thus far.

9:18: Full disclosure. I've been bored to bits. Just more than 17 minutes into the game and you'd have a hard time convincing anyone this game looks any better than a late preseason contest.

9:22: I was just about to check my pulse before Tony Romo rescued me back to life with an ill-advised throw over the middle. Michael Boley returns that duck 45 yards to inside the Cowboys 5-yd line. Meanwhile, I can avoid coffee. For a few minutes at least.

9:26: Rex Ryan's better half is pumped, as his defense makes a stand (with a little help from ... shocker, a missed call at the goal line) and the Cowboys hold NY to 3.

9:29: In case anyone was wondering, my game time grub? Homemade baked chicken and waffles. Be impressed.

9:31: Orlando Scandrick may me an average nickel cornerback for the Dallas Cowboys but I'll only remember him for being on Bravo's "Million Dollar Listing: Los Angeles".

9:34: Another Dallas possession, another punt. I wonder what baseball is doing right now ...

9:36: Oh right, 9-0 Nats.

9:38: Four minutes left in the first half, Giants still up by trey. Quick recap of the game thus far:

Very few things happened. Thank you.

9:41: Seriously, very little going on.

9:41: In all honestly, aside from two botched calls, the replacements refs have gone largely unnoticed thus far. Which is a good thing, all things considered. Of course, all this good will goes out the window as soon as a crucial call gets blow in a huge spot. No pressure, boys.

9:47: Coming out of the two minute warning, we get our first big offensive play of the game. Romo and Bryant hook up for 38 yards and a big third down conversion. And a small piece of soul dies.

9:51: Aaaaand there goes another piece. Romo makes something out of nothing and finds Stephen Ogletree over the middle for six. [expletive deleted]

9:53: Brief mention about the most valuable NFL franchises, with the Cowboys and Patriots clocking in at 1 and 2, followed by ... the Redskins?

9:55: Seriously, three playoff wins since 1991. And somehow, the 'Skins fan base has continued to pour money into Dan Snyder's piggy bank. To the tune of $1.63 billion. There went another piece of my soul.

9:59: Oh yeah, we're at half. 7-3 Cowboys a.k.a. the greater of two evils.

10:15: Second half underway. Barely had a chance to re-warm my seat before Romo fires a strike to ... surprise, Stephen Ogletree for their second TD connection of the night. And simultaneously, millions of fantasy football nerds hit the the waiver wire. 14-3 in favor of the bad guys with stars on their helmets.

10:21: Commercial comment: The more the cell phone companies push shared data plans, the longer I will cling to my unlimited data plan, despite the awful service. This is my terrible plot for revenge.

10:29: A minute after slandering the Giants' run game on twitter, Ahmad Bradshaw scampers in for six on the heels of a 30-yd lob from Manning to Hixon. I am .. .the Jinx. 14-10 Dallasucks.

10:32: Sidenote. As awesome as Nike is at ... everything, these new NFL jerseys have some really unfortunate sweat spots, most notably, on darker jerseys. Can't say I can remember seeing anything remotely similar on the Reebok threads. Playdry > Dri - fit.

10:40: As much as it pains me to say this, Romo has been much smarter with the ball since the pick in the first half. He extended the play with his feet before finding Ogletree on the first score, did it again on the last play to avoid the sack in the red zone here in the third quarter.

Of course, it may be a function of how inconsistent the Dallas O line has been thus far. But like, you know, whatever.

10:44: Following my praise of Romo ... a sack and a near pick in the end zone. DAL settles for a field goal to push their lead back to 7. End of the third quarter and suddenly, I hear my memory foam mattress whispering. Ever so slightly.

10:48: Clicked over to the DNC for a wake up call. Regardless of your politics, if President Clinton speaks, you have to watch. Totally kicking ass.

10:53: Back to football. Giants punt. Seriously, there's more action at the DNC right now then there is at Giants Stadium.

10:58: Cowboys on the move in the 4th. After Miles Austin checks in with a first down grab, DeMarco Murray gashes the Giants' D up the middle. Looks like another slow start on both sides of the ball for Big Blue.

11:03: Highlight of the game so far: Romo bumps into Murray on the exchange, Murray runs for the first down but plows into Dez Bryant, sending him to the turf and inadvertently cutting off his run by 2-3 yds. Fantastic.

11:07: Miles Austin picked a good time to wake up and start playing. Romo finds him for a 34-yrd grab to make it a two score game. 24-10 C-boys. [expletive deleted]

11:10: Clicking back to the DNC. Seems to be a lot of chanting during Clinton's speech. I'm hoping the President channels The Rock and yells, "WHOA, THIS ISN'T SINGALONG WITH BUBBA!"

11:14: Giants trying to come back. And then ...

Pass to Cruz. Drop. Repeat x 3.

Baffling. He's literally killing drives.

11:21: Deion & Peyton in Directv ads? Comedy gold.

11:22: Giants driving. Bradshaw pitter patters to convert a 4th and 1. Looked real tentative but got the job done.

11:23: Right after the conversion, Eli finds Bennett in the back of the end zone to bring Big Blue within 7. Fingertips on the ball, toes in bounds, great grab. 24-17 Caballeros.

11:27: I know it's a tight game, approaching two minutes ... but I'd like to mention that Osi Umemyiora and Eli Manning appear to have "special" helmets.

11:30: Former Redskin and current Giants' CB Justin Tryon appears to wearing a bull's eye, at least to Romo he does. Got beat by Ogletree to convert on 3rd down and essentially seal the game.

11:33: Cowboys enter the victory formation and I prepare for the fetal position. Dallas takes the season opening 24-17 over the defending champion Giants. Had a good time tonight, hope you did too. Til next time.

THURSDAY MUSINGS: The Hangover

(image by Bobby Rubio / http://www.alcatrazhigh.com/)

It's been five days. I guess it's not the longest hangover I've had.

To clarify, this isn't an alcohol induced hangover (though it very well could have been). This is a sports hangover. A DC sports hangover specifically, courtesy of your WASHINGTON CAPITALS (@!#$#$^%!!!).

Now, if you are curious as to what constitutes a 'DC sports hangover', the symptoms are largely the same as a regular hangover. That is ... there's nausea, vomiting, a little whining and self-loathing, acute sensitivity to light, a headache, feelings of regret ... and of course, late night pizza. Except for the DC sports fan, these symptoms aren't the result of a night of binging, but rather days, weeks, months, even years of seemingly misguided allegiances to perennially failing institutions in the world of sport.

For anyone unfortunate enough to share my fanaticism, you will know this variety of hangover pretty well. It happens every spring, when the Capitals inevitably walk the plank in the NHL playoffs. It happens when the Wizards fall out of playoff contention. Or mid-November, whichever happens first. (Because of the lockout, you could argue that the Wizards were never in playoff contention this year so there shouldn't have been any hangover to begin with. To which I will say, eat me.) And for Redskins fans - there are a few in DC, despite all the Cowboy/Steeler/Eagle placards you see in the area - our hangovers are either weekly or bi-monthly throughout the regular season. Even with the addition of RG3, it's hard to imagine a rookie coming out of the gate and firing on all cylinders so I suspect this season will be no different. (Don't say I didn't warn you.)

But alas, after about a week of quiet reflection (and complete shunning of ESPN), I've rehydrated, I'm back on solid foods ... I'm ready for the world again. And despite the soul-crushing loss to the New York Rangers (and the subsequent loss of Coach Hunter to ... Canadian farm life), I can honestly say that the excitement of this post-season run by the Capitals was well worth it, if for no other reason but to provide a glimpse at a team capable of exceeding expectations. Now, pass the Advil.

QUICK HITTERS

- The Nationals were noticeably absent from the above rant, largely because ... there's still reason for optimism (albeit cautious optimism). Despite a rash of injuries, a dearth of run support and the incessant efforts of interim closer Henry Rodriguez to DESTROY THE UNIVERSE, DC's boys of summer are sitting in first place of the National League East. Granted, we're not even into June yet but it's encouraging to see this team power through some rough patches with damn fine pitching and timely hitting.

- Speaking of hitting, some kid named Harper ... plays for the Nats I think ... he stroked a couple good hits. That is, two homers and triple in his last three games. Not bad for a 19 year old in his rookie campaign. Then again, all those accomplishments, along with an epic steal of home base, might be trumped by this:

UFC Octagon Girl, Brittany Palmer and lucky bastard, Bryce Harper

(image: Tracy Lee / Yahoo sports)

- The Redskins unveiled their modern interpretation of a throwback uni to commemorate their 80th anniversary. This after the disastrous debut of Nike's revamped NFL uniforms which ... looked exactly like the old Reebok uniforms. The verdict? A decisive 'Meh'. I don't mind the darker hues of burgundy and gold so much as I mind the obvious similarities to both Florida State's and Boston College's respective duds. For my money, the 'leather' helmets are a 10 but it seems other fans don't share my sentiment. I would love an in person look at all these to get a better feel for them. Better yet, in-person, on a Redskin, no more than 50 yards away from me. Please. 

- That said, no matter how the jersey looks up close, it will NEVER top the 70th anniversary jersey (of which I am a proud owner):

- The NBA playoffs are going on. I say that because I assume someone cares about such things. 

- This has nothing to do with sports but 'The Avengers' F**KING RULED. Yes, I am a nerd, and yes, I have been waiting with baited breath since 2008 for this movie. But damnit, if that wasn't a movie ANYONE could get behind. Great job by Mark Ruffalo in bringing the Hulk to life. Great interactions between him and Tony Stark. Great ensemble cast. Another great turn as Loki for Tom Hiddleston. As noted radio personality Robb Spiewak would say, just GREAT. 

That's all I got today. Appreciate everyone and anyone that took a moment to read this. I know I've been way sporadic posting in the last two months but hopefully, I can keep at it from here on in. Later, friends. 

Hit Me: CAPITALS RANGERS LIVEBLOG

7:41: The puck she drops, and I'm already flustered. I need a break from life so I can blog more.

7:42: Finally getting a replay of the Ovi sprint back down the ice to negate the icing. Key factor to his success? He led w/ his face. All the way to the glass. Hope the youngsters at home are taking notes.

7:44: Three minutes in and the teams have exchanged scoring opportunities. If this is any indication of how the game will go, I suspect that we'll see a little more scoring this go 'round. May be time to ready the Tums.

7:47: First 'Ovie Sucks' chant of the night. Cute the first time but terribly unoriginal. Really, there may be no more overrated hockey crowd than the MSG 'faithful'.

7:55: Nine minutes in, Caps just miss on a great two-on-one chance. Semin passed up the chance to shoot and judging by the commentary, you'd have thought the earth shattered. Settle down boys.

7:57: Rangers strike w/ nine to play. Seemed like a matter of time w/ the disparity in shots in favor of NY. I wonder how well antacids mix w/ dark beer.

8:00: Didn't catch this initially but that was Dennis Wideman on the ice for that NY tally. Just saying.

8:02: First 14 minutes of this period have not been kind to DC. Soft goal against Holtby, way too much time in the defensive zone, and now the Caps head to the PK. PS: Tums & beer? Not bad.

8:07: Ask any male, heterosexual Caps fan who they would want to get a one bed apartment with. The answer will surely be Matt Hendricks. Oh, Caps killed the Hamrlik minor penalty.

8:11: Chimera fires one into Lundqvist and takes a late hit from Del Zotto. I'm sensing imminent decapitation.

8:13: Del Zotto hooks Semin & gets two for his efforts. He's safe for two minutes at least.

8:15: First period closes and the Caps will have less than 15 tics on the power play to start the second. Urge to kill ... rising.

8:16: Sidenote - Wideman had a nice little turnover in the Caps' defensive zone at the start of the PP. Fortunately for him he had help. Unfortunately for Caps fans he's still under contract.

8:19: Best thing about the game so far? No Mike Milbury. My heart, she sings.

8:21: During his analysis, Jeremy Roenick says the word 'boom' no less than 12 times. Somewhere, John Madden is blushing like a schoolgirl.

8:27: Sidenote - This has nothing to do w/ hockey but ... 'The Avengers' ruled. A full-on, two hour nerdgasm. If I survive this game, I'm carving out an afternoon and catching a matinee. Pants may or may not be on.

8:32: Second period underway, and we see a graphic showing the Rangers' advantage in shots. 17-4 and nary a shot for any of the big three. Given the number and quality of opportunities, the Caps are lucky to be down one.

8:34: Girardi mauls Mike Green but refs nab 52 on the retaliation. Two mins slashing minor for Clarendon's most eligible bachelor.

8:36: Caps kill it off but this has not been a fun game to watch so far.

8:39: Ward hustles up ice and draws another penalty on Del Zotto. Safe to say he's been the Caps' MVP thus far. Del Zotto that is.

8:42: At least a trio of golden opportunities for the Caps as the PP tics off. Enjoying the pace right now but Lundqvist is looking scary good right now.

8:47: Just like that, Laich punches one home. Great screen by Brouwer to screen Lundqvist. FYI if Hendricks and I needed a roommate, best believe it would be Troy Brouwer.

8:51: How does Jeff Schultz follow-up a decent three minute stretch for the Caps? He turns the puck over off an easy pass near neutral ice. I pray he and Wideman get lost on the way to the locker room between periods. Every game.

8:55: Not to be outdone, John Carlson chips one out and gets two minutes for a delay of game. He gets a pass for the rug commercials. Not this.

8:57: Terrifying PK. Green had a couple good blocks but totally lost track of Gaborik behind him as he moved into the crease. Caps were lucky the centering pass skipped over his stick.

9:00: Four minutes left in the second. Holtby hasn't looked as solid but the replays show just how quick he's had to react all night. Great awareness. Heart his effort

9:04: Odd sequence as the period winds down. I'm pretty sure Ovie and Green both shot at the same puck. At the same damn time. Only in DC.

9:06: Our long, national nightmare is over. Caps escape the period with the score knotted at 1. My heart will  get a 15 minute reprieve.

9:23: Start of the third period. This last frame is being brought to you by Great Lakes Brewing's Elliot Ness Amber Lager. I'm not sponsored by them, I'm just enjoying the hell out of the buzz it's giving me.

9:26: After an initial surge by the Rangers, Caps respond w/ a buzz in front of Lundqvist. Three minutes in and again, Ward draws another penalty against NY. Rupp gets two for hooking.

9:30: Johnny C makes up for bad tapestry commercials and bad penalties. Power play strike from 74 gives DC a 2-1 advantage.

9:36: Thirteen minutes to play and I honestly do not recall a single Ovie shot attempt all night. Meanwhile Backstrom pings the pipe on a breakaway. Is there any question who's the most important Cap on the ice?

9:39: Wideman draws a highsticking minor on Kreider. This is what I would call "Step on the neck" time for DC.

9:42: Rangers poised to kill this penalty. If you're keeping score at home, the Caps continued that whacky bit where they start off a penalty by losing the faceoff and letting the D clear one to the other end. A good 'go-to' move for the Caps.

9:44: More whacky bits, this time by Semin. You know the one he does when he has a breakaway opportunity and then thinks, "Man, I'm an absolute sniper but an ill-fated pass would be SO MUCH COOLER."

9:47: Quote from Grant Paulsen (of 1067thefandc.com): "Dennis Wideman taking that stick to the head was his most productive moment of this postseaon." Truer words never spoken.

9:50: Four minutes to play, Caps protecting a one goal lead and NOW Hunter decides to double shift Ovie? NO EMOTICON FOR WHAT I'M FEELING.

9:53: Ovie blocks a shot, Laich buries one into Lundqvist's chest. I may black out.

9:56: Fifty five seconds. Pure terror.

9:57: Tortarella calls time for NYR, does zero coaching and makes the same, "I'm a complete douche" face he always makes.

10:01: There is no god.

10:02: Late double minor against Ward leads to a NYR goal with less than SEVEN FRIGGIN SECONDS to play. Oh, Rangers have just a hair under two minutes left to go on the PP to start OT. I ... can't speak.

10:05: The NHL's "Because it's the cup" campaign stinks. Should mimic the NBA and have the slogan be, "The NHL Playoffs: Where alcoholics are born". Beer #2.

10:18: Minute into OT and the extra frame is starting a lot like this game did. Rangers buzzing. Then again, so am I.

10:20: Kill me. Rangers take Game 5. And my soul.

10:27: Putting a bow on this before drowning my sorrows. The Ward penalty was awful but not insurmountable. Caps gave NY lots of opportunities in their own zone throughout the night but Holtby was largely able to bail out the D. They never seemed able to adjust and it was only a matter of time until it came back to haunt them.

Shoot the J. SHOOT IT: Caps-Bruins GM 2 LIVE BLOG

3:33: More than five mins into the game at this point. This is my first post since before my vacation. I'm probably as tentative writing this as Dany Sabourin is waiting on the pine.

3:37: Halfway through the 1st PD and we have the 2nd penalty of the game, 1st against the Caps. You can imagine my disbelief, that one of the Caps exquisite defensemen (Mike Green) made in fact a poor play, leading to a hooking penalty.

3:40: Ladies and gents, the gang is back - Backstrom is back on line w/ Ovechkin. If Dale Hunter pulls the trigger and lines them up w/ Semin at some point, I'm gonna ask for them to cue the NWO music.

3:42: BTW, that line just generated another penalty against the Bruins with 7 mins to play in the first. I'm trying to temper myself.

3:43: Really not fair to be facing a guy that's basically Dirk Nowitzki on skates ... who also happens hold a howitzer for a slapshot (i.e. Chara). Gonna be interesting if Dale can match the lines and get Ovie on against the other lines. Anyway, power play ends w/o a strike.

3:49: Replays of Gm 1 and Chris Kelly's game winner on Thursday. A quick reminder of Braden Holtby's biggest strength and greatest weakness as the Caps' netminder: Way too overaggressive in the 1-on-1. As my buddy Ice noted the other night, he was WAY out of net to challenge Kelly on the breakaway. Left a lot of net open. Something to watch.

3:52: Under 2 mins to play in the PD. BTW, I probably would have started in time for the puck drop but I had to fry an egg. Not to get into too much detail but I'm basically eating the equivalent of five crackers and rabbit food each day, so every meal counts. A lot. I'll try not to pass out before the end of the game.

3:55: Scoreless after one. Shots even between the teams, and some solid scoring opportunities for both. I'm going to stop staring at this apple.

4:00: Good points by Mike Milbury re. the Caps' 2nd power play. He's still an asshole.

4:13: Onto the second period. Second line is out to start the period. An apple to keep me upright.

4:14: Ovechkin w/ a nice chance on a Bruins' turnover in their defensive zone. Bruins return the favor w/ a flurry on the other end. Brad Marchand (your favorite Beantown midget) camped out in front and drew a crosscheck from Hamrlik. Refs don't buy Roman's argument that, 'he's an asshole, he started it'. Two minutes for the Caps to kill.

4:19: A few close calls but Caps escape the minor penalty unscathed.

4:22: Stop in play after the Bruins are called for icing w/ just over 13 mins to play in PD 2. Before that, a brief sighting of the artist formerly known as Alex Semin. He of course was replaced by his equally well known counterpart: Playoff Semin.

4:24: Still no score. A glance at Jeff Schultz, after he was nearly decapitated earlier in the period. Apparently his best defense is his face. Either way, it was his best defensive play all year.

4:27: I should be more sympathetic to athletes of 'limited stature'. But unfortunately, Brad Marchand plays for Boston. As such, I'm hoping someone mistakes him for the puck and flings him into the netting.

4:30: Halfway point of the game. Bruins snap off a shot, while Holtby does his best impression of a wall. Impressive doesn't do him justice through the first five periods of this series.

4:33: As if on cue, Marchand launches himself and his stick into John Carlsson's face. Two minutes for Mini-Me as the Caps go on the PP.

4:34: Ovie is tripped coming across the blue line. Incredulous.

4:35: Good passing along the perimeter by the Caps and a few good shots but no dice. Greenie looking more and more like himself, esp. on the PP. The republic is pleased.

4:41: CAPS SCORE. Great pass in front by Ovechkin under duress. Brouwer does the rest banging it in on the second try. 1-0 Cappers.

4:48: Through two, Caps lead 1-0. CASHEWS AND WATER TIME!

5:03: Still intermission. And cashews are still delicious.

5:05: Third period underway. Side note: It's a really nice day out. Fat chance I get back out there to enjoy it. I hate allergies.

5:08: Few shots through four minutes. Pretty physical game as Ovie lines up a Bruin in open ice. There will be blood.

5:10: A flurry in front of the Caps' net. Shots still pretty even but Boston spending a lot of time in the offensive zone.

5:12: Thirteen minutes to play and the zebras swallow their whistle as Semin got clipped moving into the offensive zone. Meanwhile, Marchand continues agitating. If he's not pissing off the Caps, he's pissing me off.

5:15: Speaking of Marchand, haven't seen a more irritating pre-pubescent runt since King Joffrey on Game of Thrones.

5:19: A ho-hum opportunity for the NWO line (i.e. Ovie/Backstrom/Semin). Bad pass by Backstrom, equally bad pass by Ovie on a timing play. Bruins clear. Bleh.

5:20: Stop in play and it's commercial time. ESPN's Michelle Beadle pops up in this Bridgestone ad. She's a sports fan, and she watches wrestling. Heart be still

5:23: Bad sequence. Holtby again gets beat coming way out of net to address the puck and got hammered in the process. Tied at 1. Distraught.

5:26: Just under six mins to play. Pretty consistent theme this year, as the Caps sat back trying to protect their lead, rather than extend it. The defense hasn't improved enough where they can rely on the D to salt the game away. I need an adult beverage.

5:32: No one loses an edge or misses a 'gimme' pass like Dennis Wideman.

5:34: Less than two to play. Boston trying to send a message, roughing up Backstrom in front of the Boston net. I'm expecting some measure of a response when this series comes to DC.

5:37: Seconds tick off, no game-winning tally in the 3rd. Extra hockey. Go time.

5:53: Bruins win the faceoff to start OT and already Holtby has made two stops in the extra frame. Semin gets a chance himself but fires wide. I'm having palpitations.

5:59: Five minutes gone in OT and the Bruins are turning up the pressure. Oddly enough, Semin has been all over the ice on D. Playoff Semin seems to be out having a smoke.

6:02: Lots of back and forth, you'd think they were playing 4 on 4. Anyone else's palms a little sweaty?

6:04: I might need a valium.

6:05: On a long pass, Aucoin had a chance to go 1 on 1 to win it for the Caps and then ... lost an edge and fell down. Alcohol, stat.

6:08: Fresh ice as we're through 10 mins in the extra frame. Thirty seconds later, Beagle puts a silly one on net that Thomas gloves with little fanfare. Speaking of Tim Thomas, I hate his Freddy Mercury mustache. YOU'RE NOT FREDDY, TIMMY.

6:13: FUUUUUUUUURIOUS activity in front of the Boston net. Beagle is stopped, loose puck, Alzner fires one off that Thomas nabs out of the air. Meanwhile, I'm blasting "Don't Stop Me Now" by Queen.

6:17: This is easily the most I've seen of Jay Beagle all season. Glad I will have something else to remember him by, other than getting decked by Aaron Asham at the start of the season.

6:22: This is an amazing game BTW. Staring double OT in the face right now.

6:23: I hate the stress of sports. Four periods away, still notched at 1. Pizza sounds amazing right now.

6:41: Second OT is going.

6:42: SECOND OT IS OVER. Backstrom with an ABSOLUTE RIP to beat Thomas stick side. 2-1 FINALMENTE. Caps win.

DONE. DEAL.

Disclaimer: There may be some typos in this post. I'm writing from my iPhone which should give you an idea of the urgency with which I'm writing. But this must be said. Onward and upward.

Ok the one Friday night I hit the sack early and THIS happens?!

Unless you're living under a rock, you know the Redskins engineered a trade for the Rams' #2 overall pick in the draft and in doing so, pulled off the coup of all coups this offseason. It's not often that happens before we hit free agency but already the city and the sports world alike are abuzz. (I know this because my future brother in law fired off a giddy 4AM text.)

Now It could've been the rumor that Peyton Manning wasn't interested in coming to DC. It could've been Cleveland's posturing towards a potential trade with St. Louis. I don't know what spurred the Redskins to action. Whatever it was, I don't care.  To quote my brother (who I think was quoting George W Bush), "ladies and gentlemen, we got him."  The Redskins pulled the trigger on a blockbuster trade aimed at answering their quarterbacking woes for the next decade. And unless videos surface of Andrew Luck injecting small kids with heroin, the Colts will take him at 1, leaving the Redskins poised to take Baylor QB and Heisman trophy winner, Robert Griffin III. Make no mistake about it, this was the move.

Yes, the price was steep but keep in mind this is the first trade of picks with the new collective bargaining agreement in place. Under the new CBA and the rookie wage scale, top draft picks are worth now more than ever before. Under the old system it would've been easy to write this deal off based on sticker shock alone. But this is a whole new ball game. Griffin makes this an easy deal to assess if he pans out. But make no mistake, this will not be the last trade of its kind.

And for the record, the hysteria about this trade costing the Redskins three first rounders is absurd. Let's be clear: This is a swap of first rounders this year. The actual cost to the Redskins?  Two future firsts and a second this year. That's still a lot, and it may be semantics but it gives this deal a little better perspective. Again, it's easy to go nuts with the headline stuff but digging a little deeper makes us all a little smarter in the end.

I guess it's pretty obvious where I fall on this trade. But for years the Redskins have squandered both money and draft picks on a litany of ill-advised deals, mostly aimed at winning short term battles. For once it seems the brain trust in Ashburn made a move to win the war.

Hit Me With it: TOP CHEF FINALE LIVE BLOG

1000: Just before the finale starts, we get ... a cryptic commercial for a program called 'Around the World in 80 Plates.' Color me intrigued.

1004: As the defeated chefs battle to serve as sous chefs to the finalists ... we have a Grayson sighting. I could probably log off now.

1006: Sarah nabs Nyesha as one of her sous, which prompts her to mention her skills as a saucier. Suddenly, I'm reminded of that scene from 'Tropic Thunder' where Robert Downey talks about being a 'saucier in San Anton'.

1010: "I'm not letting you butcher." - Sarah to Tyler, the first and most infamous eliminated chef this season, who also just happens to be one of her sous chefs. I'm really LOL-ing at this.

1012: Commercial time. BTW, thanks in large part to the unseasonably warm DC weather, I'm getting an early dose of allergies, which is completely wiping me out. So to fuel me through this episode, this post is brought to you by Coke Zero. A really small can though (see left).

1019: As the chefs prep for service, Tyler frantically begs for guidance. Reminds me of another movie, in this case, 'Waiting', when the gals are telling Calvin to not be a pussy. [/imdb]

1024: Commercial time. Are we really two thirds of the way through this episode? Already?

1025: Plug for 'Million Dollar Listing New York'. I'd be remiss if I didn't mention that I really miss the original 'Million Dollar Listing'. Coiffed douche bags and overpriced real estate. Classic.

1027: Back in the kitchen, Paul takes the first speed bump (funky crab) and plows through it. The backup prawns get pulled in and he doesn't miss a beat. So far.

1029: As the judges get seated in Paul's restaurant, we get two notable items from the judge's table: the phrase 'Top Chef Canada' and the host of 'Around the World in 80 Plates', Kat Cora.

1031: Mid-meal, Paul is greeted by his girlfriend and family. He don't look filipino but that was for damnsure a filipino accent.

1032: I just want to go on record as saying this doesn't feel like a finale. Just ... doesn't.

1033: In Sarah's kitchen, we hear the phrase, 'nutty consistency'. Just for kicks, if you ever watch Bizarre Foods, grab a beer, and drink every time he says, 'nutty'. Leave me a comment when you wake up the next day w/ your clothes still on.

1037: Commercial time. The Bud Platinum commercial hits. Can I say I'm a huge fan of the use of Kanye for this spot? Brilliant stuff.

1039: Back from the break ... and Sarah's crying again. Not gonna be too sexist. I'll just say I'm over it.

1041: Crisis # 2 for Paul, as the prawns in his apps end up overcooked. In Sarah's kitchen, she dodges a pinbone bullet w/ her fish. Meanwhile, I'm considering lesbianism as I glare at Kat Cora.

1044: Not to play on any stereotypes, but I'm certain the owner of Terlato wines has buried a stool pigeon or two in his lifetime.

1045: "I feel pretty good ... for the first time here." Paul, of his performance in the finale. Not sure if that's a good omen.

1046: At judges' table, we got mention of Sarah's sweetbread dish. Quick mention of the only time I had sweetbreads. I had it at Volt w/ my fiance for our five year anniversary. I ordered it w/o telling her what it was. Once she found out what it was ... well, let's just say she hasn't totally forgiven me yet.

1050: Nothing against Hugh Acheson, who's been perfectly fine in his role as the fourth judge this season. But I just miss Anthony Bourdain.

1051: Ugh. A 'Watch What Happens Live' plug and looking at Sarah's smiling face, I'm not too keen on Paul's chances of pulling this out. Excuse me as I ready that bottle of wine.

1058: Second commercial I've seen for 'Shahs of Sunset'. Aside from Top Chef, I think every other show on Bravo makes me want to go jogging ... into traffic.

1059: All the eliminated chefs looking on. Nice touch to build the dramedy.

1100: THANK GOD.

1101: MOTHER OF GOD, THANK YOU.

 1102: A THOUSAND TIMES, THANK YOU. Paul takes the crown, and Sarah does a teary eyed face palm (metaphorically speaking). Elsewhere, Bev is clicking her tiny heels together, as she skips down the street. Not sure I can conjure another coherent thought tonight so on that note, I will see you guys next week for the reunion episode. Auf wiedersehen!

SWITCH!: TOP CHEF LIVE BLOG

1008: Opening the show with a Quickfire Challenge in ... Chinatown (Vancouver to be exact). Three Asian chefs in the top five. It's like the producers started this season by saying, "This year ... LET'S GO ASIAN!"

1014: Interesting Quickfire. Contestants and Top Chef masters taking turns working on the same dishes. For the record, THIS is more like it. I know we usually get the celebrity guest chefs involved at this point in the season. But with all the extreme challenges this season, I'm just glad they went back to something that works.

1016: Emeril - "The Chinese sausage was just a little overpowering." (That's what she said.)

1017: Paul stumbles out of the gate, while Sarah meanders a curry dish into a $20,000 quickfire win. It's worth noting that at about 9:59, I told my fiance that Paul was probably gonna eat it just short of the end, clearing the way for Sarah and Lindsay in the final. Or what I would to call ... "The Most Irritating Finale of All Time." Save us, Paul. Prove me wrong.

1022: For the elimination challenge, Lindsay goes back to the halibut, hearkening back to Restaurant Wars when Bev 'lost it' for ol' Linds. I don't get it. Bev's gone. For a second time. Yet the yentering about her persists.

1025: Commercial time. Larry the Cable Guy pushing heartburn meds. This makes sense.

1027: As the chefs begin to prep for the elimination challenge, we see Paul ripping a bucket full of lobsters in half with his bare hands. Meanwhile, I take house spiders out of the house and gently place them on the deck so as not to hurt them. When I grow up, I'm gonna be a chef.

1034: As usual, Paul is nervous about his dish. If this season has taught us anything, a nervous Paul is a recipe for win. Might need to change my vote.

1040: Commercial time. Looks like Bravo's got a new show to push! Follow along with me. See if you can find a theme ...

Affluent housewives. Ghetto, affluent housewives. Realtors to the affluent. Matchmakers to the affluent. Affluent Arabs. I think Bravo caters to affluent. I think.

1045: Challenge is complete and the chefs are at judges table. I had some additional thoughts on who I figured might be going home. Then Sarah started explaining why she deserves to be in the finale and all I could think about was hitting myself with a meat tenderizer.

1048: Commercial time. Plug for 'Watch What Happens Live'. Obviously I like talking about Top Chef. That said, Andy Cohen could be talking Top Chef ... or Kate Upton having a wardrobe malfunction on my doorstep and you still couldn't pay me enough to watch that show.

1054: Quick check on the Cheftestants. I can't believe I haven't mentioned anything about Paul's 3rd grade, Asian kid comb over. In terms of Asian hairdos, I have Paul's look running a close second to Jeremy Lin's 5th grade, center-cut fro. (Bet you didn't think you'd get a JLin reference here did ya?)

1058: Despite my moment of weakness, I'm sticking with my prediction that Paul comes up short.

1059: CURVEBALL! Padma sends Sarah ... to the finale. Saucy minx. Well played.

1100: Aaaaand the nervous nellie worries himself to victory (again). Paul takes the win and the other slot in the finale. Lindsay takes the halibut train outta dodge. Yes, that means I was wrong; however, I'll take responsibility for betting against Paul. If you weren't already aware, I wager about as well as I can dunk. So for any Paul fans, you could say I did you a favor. You're welcome.

1105: Was writing something and I lingered on Bravo too long. Caught the opening of 'Watch What Happens Live' and I nearly blacked out. Anywho, bit of a ho-hum elimination challenge after a fun opening quickfire. I guess you could say the last couple finales have really ruined me going forward, especially the All-Stars finale with Antonia, Mike Isabella, and Richard Blais. Those three seemed to raise the bar and by comparison, this season doesn't come close. Hopefully Sarah and Paul step up with the title on the line.

1111: Punching out, looking forward to next week. Til then, stay thirsty, friends.

Two Outta Four: TOP CHEF LIVE BLOG

1006: Okay, so two of the final four chefs are Asian. Maybe not the two I had anticipated but ... I'll deal.

1007: I'm not sure what it is about being on Top Chef but for some reason, when it gets to four, regardless of the season, the chefs feel compelled to come back with new haircuts.

1010: So the quickfire challenge has our final four cooking ... wait for it ... on ski lifts mountain side gondolas in Whistler. I'm not sure what the ratings have been like this year but these 'extreme' cooking challenges have been way too frequent and nigh unwatchable. Not a fan to say the least. Here's hoping they straighten up their act and get back to actual cooking next season.

1015: It's been 15 minutes and ... Beverly's already annoying while Lindsey screwed the pooch on her dish. Shocker ... ?

1018: Whatever, Lindsey. Enjoy failure in the finale.

1019: A zillion barbeque challenges, countless extreme challenges, free passes to the final two rounds ...  this season has completely confounded me.

1021: Sarah - "Beverly ... is the silent horse." Riiiiiight.

1024: I had a coherent thought two seconds ago ... then the fiance started playing 'Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now' by Starship. Where am I? What's happening?

1025: Food in ice blocks. Keep on pushing it, a**holes. 

1027: Watching the contestants wail away at the ice blocks reminds me of my childhood ... wailing away at ice blocks, working in a hot dog truck in DC. FYI, Asian parents don't understand the phrase 'child labor laws.'

1032:  You have to love the karma. Paul helps his fellow contestants, takes down the second quickfire and the second seat in the finale. Meanwhile, Sarah is already lining up therapists, in the event she screws the pooch against Bev. Love it.

1038: And for the final challenge? A biathlon.  I want jump off my balcony into a cauldron of scalding hot split pea soup.

1045: If nothing else, the look of absolute anguish on Sarah's face throughout this ep has been worth the price of admission.

1049: Judges' table, deliberation time as we go to commercial. Bravo once again shoves 'Watch What Happens Live' down our throats and adds the ghoulish grill of Lil' Kim into the mix for good measure. I will never watch that 'show'. (And I may not sleep tonight.)

1054: More commercials. I'm sure Ellen Degeneres uses a ton of the stuff but I'm not getting her as a L'Oreal pitch person. Old Navy, Toyota Prius? Maybe. Make-up? Not so much. Stick with Sofia Vergara, thanks.

1057: Moment of truth ... and all I can fixate on is Padma's yellow shirt.

1058: Ugh. Sarah moves on and ups the annoying quotient for the finale.

1101: Wait, what? That was just the semifinal round? A one-on-one finale? What in the crikey hell is going on?

1103: Just a quick word to close this post. I know I've said it ad nauseum but this season has really been a dud. Again, totally flying blind on this season's ratings but I do know the past few seasons have seen a dip in viewership so I can understand a few tweaks. That said, the need to keep things interesting  shouldn't come at the expense of the show's integrity. And I'll leave it at that.

Thanks for playing, kids. Good times watching and writing. I say good day.

Where's That Chowder Place?

I meant to post while on the road for work in Seattle but truth be told, it's been a crazy couple of weeks.

Before I set out for the west coast, my brother mentioned a really good soup spot in downtown Seattle. I neglected to jot it down at the time but something reminded me of it midweek so I decided to text him to get the name. However, instead of texting, he responded with a call. When I saw his name crop up on the phone, I just figured he was REALLY excited about the joint.

Then the conversation went like this ... 

Me. Hey. 
Bro: Hey.
Me. What's up?
Bro: The soup place is Pike Place Chowder.
Me. Sweet. Thanks.
Bro: Oh BTW, I'm at the hospital.  Dad collapsed, maybe passed out. Doctors are checking to see if he might've had a stroke.
Me. ... Oh.

From there, things got a little hazy. Suffice it to say, soup was on the back burner after that.

Two days and a steady stream of updates later, it turned out that dad did indeed have a stroke, albeit a minor one. Luckily, he wasn't alone, and the stroke occurred in a part of his brain that did NOT impair his motor function or his speech. After a battery of tests, and a couple nights of awful hospital food, dad was discharged and sent home. Although it's still early, the 'old man' looks to be on the mend.

This wasn't exactly what I envisioned for my post-Seattle entry but life has an odd way of dictating the stories you tell. In any event, I promise a return to form tomorrow, as Top Chef goes into final four mode, which of course means ... live blog mode. For now, I say adieu.

Cletus with Gloves: UFC on FOX 2 LIVE BLOG

821: Quick word on the choice of analysts. Couture is a 10 on the mic. As for Jon Jones, as a fighter, I'm all in. That said, he has as much charisma as my punching bag. Doesn't help that he was constantly looking at his notes. Considering how Brock came across on UFC on Fox 1, UFC might want to consider NOT employing current fighters as analysts.

825: Chris Weidman vs. Demian Maia - Round 1. Pretty hard round to score so far. Weidman with the crisper strikes but Maia responding well. Very even fight, slight edge to Chris. 10-9 Weidman.

827: It could be the way the mics are set, or the fact that the first round was too close to call. Either way, from what I can tell, this Chicago crowd is straight ass so far.

828: The biggest loss for the UFC in losing Mark Munoz from the card? Not being able to repeat his nickname as 'the Filipino Wrecking Machine' a billion times.

829: Into the 2nd round. Again, even round to this point but Weidman is obviously landing with the lead left. Shocker, this crowd of Chicago dullards is booing.

831: Here's a great drinking game for you kids that are into that kind of thing: For every time Mike Goldberg says 'headkick', consume. You would be surprised how blitzed you get. Really, it's the weirdest quirk about Goldie as a commentator. It's like he's so excited at the notion of someone getting kicked in the head that he can't even muster another word  to describe the action except 'headkick'.

834: 3rd Round. Based on the jabs and the takedowns, I had the 2nd  round narrowly for Weidman. Granted, this hasn't been a very exciting fight but this crowd really blows. The slam by Weidman barely elicited some 'ooohs' from the audience. Just awful.

837: Note to Dana White: Cross Chicago off the list. Forever. Thanks. Can I get a RT?

840: After three, I'll give Maia his token round. Fight could go either way but I've got Weidman 29-28. Winner by Split Decision: Chris Weidman. 

841: LOL @ Bruce Buffer. He called Chris the victor... but pointed at Demian Maia. Classy.

842: Kind of an awkward moment. No customary post fight interview for Weidman. Looked like he was standing around waiting for Joe Rogan to ask him about the bout, maybe ask if he had any shoutouts. Oops.

846: Chael Sonnen gives another great promo. He could use a little more coaching on loving the camera though. CHAEL, WE'RE OVER HERE.

848: Don't know how Fox let's 'Goddamn' slip through in a video package. Amateurish.

855: Chael Sonnen vs Michael Bisping - Round 1. Quick take down by Sonnen after a short exchange. This round should be very telling, in terms of where this fight will take place.

Sidebar - I think someone may have sprayed the audience with adrenaline. They might have a pulse now.

859: After two early takedowns, Bisping is really controlling the position by going to the clinch. Both guys seem to be butting heads quite a bit. Sonnen looks a bit tentative to start. 10-9 Bisping.

901: We have a Brittany Palmer sighting. My night is made.

902: Second round under way.

903: 'Sonnen looks terrible here.' Might be Joe Rogan's best analysis of the night. THIS IS WHY HE GETS THE BIG BUCKS.

905: This fight has been a whole lotta nothing. Sonnen has been largely ineffective after scoring a takedown. Bisping is controlling the pace but it seems like he's just holding position against the cage to guard against the takedown. I'll give it to Chael on the takedown but I really don't want to. 10-9 Sonnen.

908: Someone's going to have to explain to me if/when non-title fights will go five rounds. Not that this fight needs it but it's for the #1 contender-ship. Seems kinda important. Just saying.

909: Third round. Sonnen lands a brutal double leg takedown. Chael quickly takes his back, transitions BEAUT-I-FULLY to a full mount. If he can finish the round this way, it'll leave a lasting impression.

912: Five rounds, Dana. What's up?

913: I've got it 29-28 Sonnen but round 2 is a coinflip in my eyes. How do you score two close rounds and one fairly decisive round?

914: Sidebar - I really hope Fox is in it for the long haul. Three fights on Fox so far and not a single finish. Pray for patience.

915: Winner (and evidently the best fighter in the world) by unanimous decision: Chael Sonnen. I wish I could get a transcript of that post fight 'interview'/ promo.

917: I think someone snuck some quaaludes in Goldie's Snapple. Rogan too for that matter. Neither seem really jazzed for tonight's show but they certainly picked up the energy level talking about next week's pay-per-view. Coincidence?

922: Talking up the Davis - Evans contest and they showed a list of top 10 light heavyweights. Forest Griffin is still listed in the top 10. That should tell you all you need to know about the rankings.

923: I know the UFC is fighting to steer clear of pro wrestling at all costs. That said, they could really benefit by having the WWE produce their video packages. Wake me when the fight starts.

930: So much for hearing about Phil Davis. Oh well, on to the fight.

931: It's hilarious that Bones and Rashad are 'beefing'. Their personalities are almost exactly the same. Every 'clever' comment they make seems totally forced. In fact, nothing they say comes across as authentic. I hope you recognize this, Dana.

936: I'm curious if Rashad is really as relaxed as he seems. I wonder how quickly he'll get off (pause) against the younger guy in Davis.

940: A pro-Rashad crowd. But not by much. This crowd can suck it.

941: Rashad Evans vs Phil Davis - Round 1. Davis is moving well so far, showing now sign of rust but not much going on. Lots of feeling out.

945: Evans catches one of many kicks from Phil, keeps the single and sweeps to land the takedown. Davis in trouble, fighting out of a crucifix position. Phil frees himself but the damage is done. Solid round for Sugar. Unfortunately. 10-9 Evans.

947: It's almost 10 and we've yet to see an ounce of 'the beautiful Arianny'. I call foul.

948: Into round 2. Davis looks more active standing but he's struggling to use his reach advantage. He's obviously working to land a takedown but the leg kicks and combinations aren't doing anything to set it up.

950: Since midway through the first, you could see Sugar really stalking and controlling where the fight is actually taking place in the cage. More of the same through two.

952: Evans lands another takedown just as he did in the first. Catches a high kick from Davis and pulls the single leg into a takedown. A couple solid elbows in the sidemount from Rashad. Pretty impressive showing thus far for Rashad. 10-9 Rashad.

954: Round 3, underway. Interesting that they ID Jeremy Piven in the crowd but not Michael Vick in the same row. Curious.

956: Safe to say the inexperience of Davis is shining through. Nearly through the third and Evans is starting to pick Phil apart. Davis finally lands a desperate takedown but Evans escapes with relative ease. Even w/ the takedown, Evans seemed to control the round from beginning to end. 10-9 Evans. 


1001: Round 4 underway. To answer the most egregious injustice of the night, I give you ...

You're welcome. 

1004: Davis is gassed. Rashad is being Rashad. A ho-hum penultimate round. 10-9 Evans and going for the sweep. 


1005: Perfect sentiment for this fight. From the ever so articulate Chad Dukes ...

"Why the UFC booked Rashad Evans for a @UFConFOX fight is beyond me. He's an excellent fighter but is NOT going to excite first time viewers."

Could not say it better. He'd better finish Phil in the 5th.

1006: Fifth and final round. I'm going to keep watching after the fight for the inevitable Jones/Evans post-fight confrontation.

1009: I need Joe Silva's job. At least when it comes to the Fox cards. A couple featherweight fights would have been nice for the noobs. Maybe the next lightweight title bout. Just something with the potential for excitement. Please?

1012: Clean sweep for Sugar. Book it. We'll see you in Atlanta. Jones. Evans. Fireworks. 10-9 Evans.

1014: I'll go into more detail on this later but I really think the UFC really blew it with this card on Fox. This was a golden opportunity to really reel in the casual viewer. And the card even before the Munoz injury looked okay at best. Evans is a tough sell for seasoned and rookie viewers alike. Odd that he was the centerpiece for this card.

1018: Winner by unanimous decision: Rashad Evans. Jones stays in the booth. DAMNATION.

1020: Decent night of fights but it could have been so much more. Thanks for those that followed along. I'll have further analysis shortly. Good game, kiddos. 

You Went There: TOP CHEF LIVE BLOG

959: Early highlight of this week's episode? The recap of last week with clips of Charlize Theron.

1002: Yes, Chris. The appropriate reaction to Charlize is ... 'Wow'.

Giggity.

1005: Love mise en place challenges. Not that I'm an expert on speed or anything. Just saying.

1007: I belong to the '50-yr old Asian Man' school of eating i.e. "don't you dare remove the shell or head off my shrimp b/c you're ruining it." This shell removal challenge is offending me.

1009: Just for the record, I'm writing while sitting on an exercise ball with my laptop on a stool. I'll let that picture develop.

1011: This season's 'Vote for your favorite loser chef!' contest amuses me, esp. considering that chefs that never actually made it on the show are vying for votes. It's like William Hung campaigning to win American Idol. Like now.

1016: Oh, Grayson, baby. You had it in the bag. Don't you ever worry your pretty little head.

1017: Shocker: The Asians are going head-to-head. The TV gods. They hate me.

1021: Sidebar - I used to do this wacky bit where I would pretend to be Chef Paul, except I would talk in a heavy Viet accent. KNEE. SLAPPING. STUFF.

Then I found out he's Filipino. Bit. Over.

1025: They must play that Camry commercial during every break. So much so that things are starting to run together. That last time it looked like Chris Berman was driving the Camry in a wifebeater. Then I realized it was Kelly Clarkson.

1030: So you know my baby, Grayson. She's cute. She cooks. She wins from time to time. But the strategy part? Not her strong suit. For instance, 200 chicken salad sammiches to order. Ambitious yes but not the best idear.

1030: 'I'm Sarah. So what I have for you today is a meatball with turkey, some squash, arugula, a side of squash, a dash of squash, squash, squash, wild squash, squash ... and to cool you off, some squash.'

1041: Commercial for 'The Vow'. I'm imagining the producer pitching it to the studio like this ... 'Okay, think "50 First Dates", but not funny and mostly sad. And Channing Tatum's abs. Did I mention his abs?'

1048: Judges' Table time. Oh, Grayson, baby. You lost me at 'Asian Food'.

1053: Episode I 3D commercial. I was just about to say something about how it was such BS that the really good Asian chef (Paul) looked poised to eliminate his equally talented yet starcrossed Asian chef. Then I had visions of Darth Maul and Qui-Gon Jinn swinging lightsabers in 3D. Gahddamn you, Lucas.

1059: BOOM! Chris J. hits the bricks. That mock pony tail stuck around for about three weeks too long. A great showing for Chris nonetheless. I'm sure he will go back to Moto a better chef. I look forward to eating a ravioli made of toilet paper. Or something weird.

1101: Gonna catch me some Last Chance Kitchen but before I split, I have to say this was a pretty disappointing episode, especially coming off the high from last week. It's mindboggling just how painfully inconsistent this season has been. The culprit seemed to be a really weak premise for the elimination challenge. Yes, we know Healthy Choice is the sponsor. Yes, we know Chef Bryan, a Top Chef alum, makes a fine spokesman. But do you need to hand jam the product into a half assed, healthy-eating contest? Obvious answer is no.

And for chrissakes, enough with the 'Let's cook for 620 yokels!' challenges. Once, twice, three times a season is enough. Way too many challenges with cafeteria-style eating.

1112: End rant. Thanks for reading. Fun night as always. Stay classy, San Diego. 

Wait, It Rains in SF? NFC TITLE GAME LIVE BLOG

645: NATIONAL ANTHEM TIME! I'm vaguely familiar with the work of Kristin Chenoweth. May or may not be a ringing endorsement for her rendition of the anthem.

648: Quote from Joe Buck - 'Eli is playing better than he did when he won the Super Bowl.' Glad he cleared that up for us.

655: My respect level grows for Eli every year. That said, I don't know how any of his receivers can take anything he says seriously when he gives them 'The Eli Face'.

656: If you don't know what the 'Eli Face' is, just think back to the movie "Half Baked" when Kenny goes to jail and he tries to show the guys with his 'mean' face.

703: I was eight seconds away from writing how the Niners would be foolish to try and throw their way to victory. I learn nothing. 70 yd pitch and catch to put SF up 7-0.

704: Official replay explanation. Poor Ed Hocculi. He knows too many words. Ed, we feel your pain, we know what you meant.

705: Commercial for #WrathOfTheTitans. How do you follow up a flaming turd? You add more dragons and explosions.

707: Apparently pre-existing celebrations can be granfathered and exempted from TD celebration penalties (i.e. the Lambeau Leap). Hell of a league, ya got, Goodell.

713: Giants passing game looks a bit out of sync. Hakeem Nicks has to give opposing coaches nightmares. Huge loss if he doesn't come back.

716: Whoops.

718: I'm going to reinstate my 'Niners stupid to try and throw to win' comment. That last pass from Alex Smith was ... dare I say ... Grossman-esque?

728: Commercial for 'This Means War.' They put Bane and Capt. Kirk into a movie together. That should've been enough. And then they made it a romcom with Reese Witherspoon. Just take my head off.

730: I'm fairly confident Eli's offseason passing coach is Tim Wakefield. Either way, hell of a throw on the TD. ALL TIED AT 7 KIDDOS!

733: Bettis: 'Peyton?' Peyton: 'Hey, a man's gotta work.' Priceless. Great commercial from Papa Johns.

741: Vernon Davis looked like Sensational Sheri jumping on another wrestler's back, trying to save the Macho Man from a beatdown. Awful penalty, comedy gold.

745: Really? Fake fair catch? I'm going back to a UCONN game a few years back when some douchebag return guy faked the fair catch and ran for a TD. I'm of the opinion that any player that does that should be forced to play the remainder of the game without a helmet. Bush league stuff.

755: Commercial for Disney's "John Carter". Let me get this straight. Gambit and Silverfox from 'X-Men Origins: Wolverine'. These are your stars? It cost a gazillion dollars to make. I have no idea how they will make a profit. Not a clue.

757: The Bing commerical with the snowboarder returning from the brain injury? Might be a little ill-timed considering Sarah Burke's passing. Just saying.

806: Can't believe I'm giving Eli this much love. I guess when he's not dancing a jig or making awful faces, Eli Manning is a good quarterback.

810: UFC on Fox commercial Not sure how I feel about the Jon Jones/kicking the swings spot. Anyway, at the half it's 10-7 NY Giants.

830: Start of the second half. Niners not looking too sharp out of the gate. Did I mention I thought it was foolish for the Niners to force Alex Smith to carry them today? Just wanted to remind you guys.

832: If you're keeping score, the Niners' first drive of the 2nd half: three passes called, one sack, one penalty. Bailed out by a horrendous penalty against the Giants secondary. This cannot be ignored.

853: Watching Alex Smith the last two weeks, I'm still not impressed. Granted he has two TD passes and no picks but he's thrown flat routes and go routes and nothing else. Hence, Niners would be wise to be control the football with the lead.

901: Surefire interception broken up by ... two 49er DBs who never saw each other coming. Someone should tell the Goldson kid that 'yanking him up by his jersey' is not recommended treatment for someone with a potential head injury. Crazy play, should have netted a turnover. Hoping Terrell Brown is okay.

921: Devin Thomas for the Giants. Carlos Rogers for the Niners. I genuinely have no rooting interest in this game.

924: I know he's a bit awkward but can we have a round of applause for Ed Hocculi? No canned explanations from him. A casual breakdown of the call. Love it.

927:  Ladies and gents, we have an actual reception in the second half. Huge first down conversion for NYG coming off the turnover. Back to the turnover Kyle Williams' muffed punt: It will haunt me forever if Devin Thomas ends up making a critical play that could help send his team to the Super Bowl. I may not sleep tonight.

930: Eli hits Manningham for TD in the back of the endzone to take the lead. Incredible throw. Again. If the score holds, we are less than nine minutes away from Eli surpassing Peyton. Room spinning real fast.

936: For the Giants, the road to failure is littered with Kenny Phillips penalty flags.

938: Niners trying to tie the score. Two huge runs to get the Niners in scoring position. Who knew.

940: 44 FGs. If you had David Akers on your fantasy squad this year, well done, you. WE'RE ALL TIED AT 17, KIDDOS!

958: Giants and Niners exchange possessions. Eli and his face have one minute and 18 seconds. Niners defense might make a play here. Call it a hunch.

1002: 27 tics left. Score tied. And a brand new episode of American Idol to follow!!!

1010: Overtime. Where complicated happens.

1015: This Goldson kid could ruin a cup of coffee. Not one, but two gift interceptions and he screws the pooch on both by running into a teammate. Sidebar: Thanks to Aikman for pointing out that Skins fans were not crazy and he did drop plenty of picks in his time here. Again, not crazy.

1022: Eli and the Giants with their 2nd crack at the win her in OT. Sidebar: Shocked at just how little we've heard from Patrick Willis today. Quiet days are good for linemen, not linebackers. Just saying.

1030: No words to describe how awful I feel for Kyle Williams. Not often that we get two goats in one day. Kyle Williams and Billy Cundiff ... you are both apart of history.

1040: Giants boot the GW field goal. Grown men celebrate awkwardly. Seriously, congrats New York. You officially have the better Manning. You got swept by the Redskins but I guess it turned out okay in the end. Just keep Devin Thomas off the mic and we'll be square.

1046: Terry Bradshaw said 'Devin Thomas' nine times in a row. I might need to cut bait before he shows his face. Great day of football. Deuces.

Porn for Paula Dean: TOP CHEF LIVE BLOG

1009: Going on record: Worst season of Top Chef yet. Still I watch.

1011: To elaborate, I cannot remember a season where they went so far out of their way to tell the audience how credentialed the cast was. Yet I cannot recall a more lame ass, disappointing bunch of cooks.

1014: FYI I got a jonesing for Grayson. A byproduct of being the only decent looking woman this season. That's not saying much.

1016: More of my ginger haired angel. MAWWWR.

1018: I'm convinced Beverly gets hated on for being the uber-asian goober, which almost completely invalidates her talent. Almost.

1019: I was going to say something about the poor quality of the elimination challenges and then Charlize Theron hit the screen. I can't remember if I had pants on before. I don't care.

1025: I need to know what the special 'coating' is on Burger King's new fries. Sure, it might make the fries taste like heaven and look like money but it's Himalayan goat pee, I don't want it.

1030: We are 30 minutes into the show. There are seven chefs left. Three are Asian. How did this escape me thus far?

1039: Leave it to me to drub the current season ... only to see the chefs pull out the best meal yet. I have no business betting on anything.

1041: I need a ruling. I think Ed is a dead ringer for my friend, Andrew.  See below:

Andrew on the left, chef Edward Lee on the right.

RIGHT?! If there's former PSA-er reading this who can co-sign, please do so. Freaky. 

1054: I'll just come out with it: Sarah can lick it. She undercooked risotto this season, not once but twice. She quit an elimination challenge ... mid-challenge (and then came back when convenient ... only to leave again). She threw the Asian girl under the bus. I'm over the "Nice-pitiable-fat-girl" shtick. These rocks won't kick themselves.

1059: Well, that's the last time I push the Asians. Ladies and gents, I am ... The Cooler.

1101: Back to Grayson. She's hot in the way Rachel Nichols from ESPN is hot ... in that if you're stare at her long enough, and you remove any other basis for comparison (i.e. little to no women on the same program), you turn a 4 into a 6. In Grayson's case, a 5 to a 7. Thank you for your time.

1106: There's something amiss with this 'Last Chance Kitchen'. Indulge me.

- Tom Colicchio doesn't change shirts for three to four weeks. At least.
- Neither does the peanut gallery, for that matter.
- The challenges take place in the San Antonio kitchen but the incoming chefs are coming from all over the state at different times in the season.

There's probably a logical explanation to all this but until that surfaces, I'll be waiting for the chef on the grassy knoll.

1115: I won't spoil the results from the LCK but this might've been the best one yet.

1118: Had fun tonight. If you read this, a gold star to ya. You may pack your knives and go. Night.

A Monkey's Uncle.

Lord Tebow met his match.

Aaron and his Pack lost their way.

And ... Saint Drew fell from grace.

If football isn't religion, I got nothing else for ya.

(Oh yeah, Baltimore beat Houston. I couldn't come up w/ a fitting analogy and let's be honest, that game was a turd and a half.)

This wasn't an impossible chain of events but the idea that both the Saints and Packers would exit the Playoffs in the divisional round was pretty damn unlikely. On the other hand, I think everyone outside of the Rockies could see Tebow and co. were in over their heads but given how the Broncos performed against the Steelers, you would at least expect a competitive contest.

Wrong on all accounts.

Nonetheless, I took two things away from this past weekend's games:

1) Just how well the 49ers offense played.
In the words of The Miz ... really? Really?! I mean, San Fran isn't exactly inept on the O but no one would confuse them with the Saints. Which isn't a bad thing. But the chances of Alex Smith outdueling Drew Brees were pretty slim going in so unless he's completely full of crap, I highly doubt Jim Harabaugh went into the game thinking that was the gameplan. That said, Alex Smith went all-Utah on the Saints. Vernon Davis came up huge. Totally changes the perception of the Niners' passing game and adds a dimension to this team that was missing all year.

2) Just how poorly the Packers played. 
This takes nothing away from the Giants but the Packers blew. In nearly every facet of the game. Completely BLEW.

Injured teams and slumping teams benefit the most from a 1st round bye. The Packers fall into neither of those categories. Throw in an inconsistent defense and then Sunday happens. In week 1, I was impressed as anyone with the offensive performance from the Pack but the ease with which the Saints moved the ball was especially troubling. Yes, it was Brees moving the ball but that's besides the point. A defensive unit that helped carry Green Bay to a title was suddenly an 'opportunistic' defense. And if you're scoring at home, 'opportunistic' (when describing defenses) is code for 'good in spots but largely crappy'.

It's an odd thing with prolific offenses. Their defensive counterparts will generally produce plenty of turnovers and play 'bend-but-don't-break' football en route to a title. And then the subsequent season, the offense will play as well, if not better than the last year, while the defense regresses as the team fails to duplicate their prior success. Case(s) in point: 1999 St. Louis Rams, 2007 New Orleans Saints, and now ... the 2010 Green Bay Packers. What a shame. Better luck next year, cheeseheads.

If this past weekend was any indication, next week's title games will be interesting to say the least. My early vibe: a Super Bowl rematch with ... the Ravens and Giants. Take those picks with a grain of salt as I am unofficially known as 'The Cooler' but lightning strikes. Blind squirrels find nuts. Don't say I didn't call it.

Anyway, I'll be back with some notes on UFC 142 in Rio. For now, I say adieu.

KNEEL BEFORE ZOD ... er, TEBOW!

I know what you're thinking ...

'One post into the new year and already he's missed one.'

Forgive me. I got a little caught up spending my Sunday praying at the altar of his holiness ... the patron Saint ... Timmy.

Honestly, there are no words to describe just how improbable all this is. (Somewhere in Bristol, Connecticut, around 6:45 PM yesterday, some poor, 22 year old intern had to be giving Merril Hoge mouth-to-mouth.) Of all the ways that AFC Wild Card game COULD end, no one would have guessed '80-yd TD pass from Tebow in OT.' (BTW, so much for the end of one-possession OT games.)

And as much as I would like to see the Tebow-mania subside, a small, miniscule, imperceptible part of my being has to thank the heavens for granting myself and the rest of the sports-loving world a brief respite from the plague that is ... Steeler nation.

It's not just the disproportionately large number of displaced stiller fans that seem to infiltrate every metropolitan area. It's not just the growing number of bandwagoners. Hell, it's not even the ridiculous sight of a few thousand, freeze-dried yahoos waving those repugnant yellow towels. (Terrible doesn't begin to describe.)

Rather, it's all of it. Nothing personal, I don't hate Steeler fans. I'm just 'Black-and-Yellow'd out. If you throw the Penguins into the mix, the surge in Pittsburgh paraphernalia over the last 5-6 years has been exponential. It just got to be too much. And if the price of a Steeler-less playoffs is a little more Tebow-humping, I will gladly turn down the TV, grit my teeth, and keep it moving 'til Sunday, February 5th. Until then ... #ThankYouBasedTebow .

MERRY NEW YEAR!

On this first, glorious day of 2012, I asked my fiance how she manages to update her blog so regularly (rehabmywardrobe.blogspot.com for those wondering). To which she replied:

'I just do it.'

Makes sense.

So on that note, I've resolved to write a new post every Sunday. Mark it on your calendars. Prepare your heckles and barbs, in the 'off chance' I do not adhere to said resolution. But I'm shooting for at least 52 posts come this time next year. Hopefully, I'll find some time between wedding planning and episodes of 'Storage Wars' to squeeze in a few extra posts in 2012. And speaking of resolutions...


- I guess Brock Lesnar resolved to not to get hit in the face any more. Can't say I blame him (he wasn't very good at it). However, I'm 50/50 on his decision to walk away from MMA now. He is just three fights, two years, and one case of diverticulitis removed from the undisputed UFC Heavyweight title. Two years later, he's supposedly done with the sport. I respect the guy for taking on one of, if not THE most talented strikers in the division in Alistair Overeem, after a 14 month layoff from the octagon. Take nothing away from the 'Reem but I wonder if ring rust played a role in Brock's performance. For my money, one more fight would clear up a lot of my questions.

Then there's the speculation about Brock potentially returning to the WWE. Everyone, including the fine folks at chaddukeswrestlingshow.com, seems to believe it's a foregone conclusion that 'the Next Big Thing' will be back in the squared circle for WrestleMania. Yet I'm not totally sold. Granted, I'm sure Vince & Co. will make a run at him at some point but I don't know if now is the time. Assume Brock is back to face the Undertaker. Honestly, how do you sell a 'real fighter' coming off two straight losses to the WWE universe as legit? Not saying it's impossible but it'll be a little more difficult for the WWE to convince the PG-Era fans Brock is a credible threat to 'The Streak' given how his run in the UFC came to an end. I'll wait to see how this plays out but I won't hold my breath.

- The Redskins ended the 2011 season one game worse than last year. Considering this was with Rex at the helm for 13 games, I'm going to call that a push.

Look, it sucks being a Redskins fan right now but ignore the stench of failure for a brief moment and look at it this way: Helu and Royster are the future at RB. Kerrigan and Orakpo are the real deal. Perry Riley is a tackling machine. Jarvin Jenkins should be healthy and ready to jump on the line. (Jarvis if you recall was the best player in camp this summer before tearing his ACL. He will join Stephen Bowen and Barry Cofield to a vastly improved defensive line.)

Of course, the QB position is the primary question mark but with the sixth pick in the upcoming draft, the Redskins are at least in the conversation for RGIII. If they opt against blowing their load to move up in the draft, the Redskins could do worse than to have Mike Shanahan and gang at the helm, scouring college QBs. As Danny Rouhier from 106.7 The Fan DC pointed out on his twitter (@funnydanny), this is the same guy in Shanny that drafted Jay Cutler and passed on Blaine Gabbert. They might have a beat on this kind of thing. (Then again, he did have us convinced John Beck was the guy.)

Hopefully, I'm not alone in this perverse sense of optimism. But I'm more than happy to share a glass of the Kool Aid.

------------------------------

I'm off work Monday but I'm going to milk some shut-eye out of this. I'll leave you with this message from my friend, Nenge Mboko: