1:03: Wildcat chicanery. 73 yrd bomb to AJ Green for the TD. Don't even care that it was thrown by a rookie wideout. More pissed that it was D Hall with the assignment on arguably the best young receiver in the game.
By the way, I'm a dog person. I dislike cats. Of all varieties. Add wildcats to that.
1:06: Stand corrected. Free safety DaJon Gomes on the blown TD pass. We'll just slide my animosity one slot over in the backfield.
1:09: Injury timeout as the trainers check out Trent Williams. B/c the Redskins have the kind of O line depth where they can afford injuries to starters. Note: My pants are aflame.
1:12: After a couple of nice runs by Alfred Morris, we have an injury to Williams, fumbled snap by Griffin, and a failed 3rd down conversion. Nausea is imminent.
1:15: By the by, it's never a good sign when your injured lineman responds to treatment by planting both hands on the sides of his head.
1:16: Rob Jackson just saved the early portion of my day. Pick six IN THE CINCY ENDZONE for the score. No words. 7 all.
1:18: On the pick, it was Ryan Kerrigan providing the pressure on Andy Dalton to force the bad throw. Sidebar - I would have a hard time taking orders from a QB with a first name ending in Y.
1:20: Other notable QB goofsballs w/ names ending in Y: Tony Romo, Joey Harrington.
1:23: Quick observation - three kickoffs, none of which resulted in a touchback. This means nothing to anyone but me.
1:25: Bengals doing next to nothing on the ground but they are moving down field with the pass. Super excited to have a shaky secondary holding down the fort.
1:27: Bengals fail to convert on 3rd down. And the refs manage to (correctly) flag Cincy for a hold. The world, she works.
By the way, the NFL is working with replacement refs. I'm not sure you heard. Earlier in the drive, there was a missed holding call. The man who was held in both holding situations? Kerrigan. He might be a problem today.
1:32: FYI, this isn't likely to gain me any brownie points but I'm writing all this with only seven good fingers. The three bum digits are heavily bandaged. Try not to count the typos.
1:37: Bengals with their fourth possession and the 'Skins are winning the battle at the line. Elsewhere? Not so much. Armon Binns beats Wilson along the seam and takes it 48 yds for the score. Suffice it to say, the secondary is a disaster.
1:42: I've written next to nothing about the Skins offense thus far. There's a reason and it's not good.
1:43: Jordan Black, the replacement for Trent Williams, has been getting killed and Griffin has been rocked twice as a result. Nervous doesn't begin to describe.
1:45: For all the issues in the secondary, if AJ Green doesn't have a personal, two man, burgundy colored security detail for the rest of this game, I'm calling for Haslett's head.
1:49: Skins down 7 and CBS runs a Dallas TD highlight. Next up, James Brown swings by to kick my dog.
1:53: Bengals starting to move the ball on the ground and in the air as they enter the red zone. Only thing worse than giving up a big play on defense is getting chewed up slowly and methodically.
1:56: Bengals with a fake FG try (failed). No points after a drive of four minutes plus. Marvin Lewis must really have fond memories of his days in DC. Otherwise, I have no explanation for what I just saw.
1:59: Dear Kyle Shanahan, we get it. Griffin can run. He's going to get hit enough, esp. with Trent Williams out. STOP WITH THE F**KING QB RUNS. Thank you.
2:01: The offensive play calling today has been suspect at best. Haven't seen any of the roll outs for Griffin thus far. I thought those worked pretty well. Would make sense to keep Griffin on the move w/ Trent out of the game. Just saying.
2:07: Perry Riley just had a nice pass defensed. Sidebar - he's awful on Twitter though.
2:12: Bengals up two scores, 17-7, with under five minutes to play in the half. Trent makes a Willis Reed like return. Matters not, as Griffin fumbles the option pitch to Morris. Cincy recovers in Skins territory and I make a B line for a bottle Great Lakes Oktoberfest brew. F**k.
2:17: One yd TD score for the one man law firm, Ben Jarvis Green-Ellis. Makes it 24-7 Cincy. Upside - this beer is awesome.
2:18: This is our home opener, right?
2:20: Nice decision by Shanny, to have Cincy re-kick. Banks returns it 55 to give skins their best field position. Offense looks like they could screw up a ham sandwich right now so I'm not confident they'll do anything with the position.
2:23: After almost 30 minutes of football, I've got four different pronunciations of Rey Maualuga's name thus far. Could be a fun drinking game (if you're into that kind of thing).
2:29: Taking a pause to actually watch how this two minute drive goes. Points or I start binge drinking.
2:31: Points, binge on hold temporarily. 24-10 Tiger cats as we head to half.
2:54: That five minute blog break was brought to you by the Washington offense. Decent 80 yd drive ends with Morris on a nifty run from inside the 10 to bring DC within 7. Score is 24-17 striped tabbies.
2:57: Nice shot of Morris on the bench with his helmet on as we come out of the commercial. As if to say, "I'm keeping my hat on. Eff you guys."
3:01: Only worse than that first half is the news that they are singing 'Viva Los Redskins' instead of "Hail To The Redskins". That's all I'm going to say.
3:03: Can't tell you how much time I spent watching NFL Films clips as a kid. Very sad losing Steve Sabol. Great of the NFL and CBS to pay tribute, loved the spot they ran earlier.
3:07: Sidebar - Skins started the 2nd half with an 80 yard TD drive, I started with a Great Lakes Nosferatu, a seasonal imperial red ale. I think we both scored.
3:08: Skins moving the ball but the double and triple option plays are driving my blood pressure up exponentially, no matter how well it's working.
3:13: The designed QB run is also adding to my health woes.
3:15: No matter. It's a new ballgame. 24 all. BTW, orange stinks as a team color.
3:19: After a 20 yd strike from Dalton to AJ Green, BJGE breaks the space time continuum and puts the ball on the turf. (First of his career.) Skins recover, and somewhere, there's a naked, overweight, DJ roaming the streets of northern Virginia.
3:22: To say the Skins' defense is playing better in the 2nd half would be like saying ... the Skins' defense is playing better in the 2nd half.
3:24: Put aside the fact that Nike has enslaved the impoverished people of my homeland. I love their product. But I would be remiss if I didn't mention the terribly unfortunate sweat zones on their NFL jerseys. Specifically, the stomach and underarm patches. Can't say I remember a single Reebok jersey looking that awkwardly sweaty.
3:27: I love Alfred Morris. Drives forward like a truck driver with an open passing lane.
3:38: A host of officiating issues I won't go into detail explaining. After Skins fail to score, Bengals come back with an 80 yard drive to go back up 7. 31-24 Ligers.
3:41: More than 11 minutes to play and the Skins are down a score with no timeouts. I'm assuming my BP is something like 450 over 80.
3:43: Kyle, enough.
3:46: Skins forced to kick after a missed 3rd down conversion, preceded by an awful no-call on 2nd down. Hankerson basically had his shoelaces tied together by the secondary while the back judge checked his Twitter feed on his sweet new iPhone (I'm assuming).
3:51: A sh*tshow on wheels. Dalton to Hawkins to put Cincy up two TDs. If you're counting at home, that's TD passing plays of 73, 48, and 59 yards. Oh, throw in a six yard TD pass too (you're know, for balance).
3:53: Hard to believe this is a defense entering it's third year in the same scheme, not to mention the fact the Skins added a former head coach to manage the secondary. Actually showing signs of regression across the board.
3:58: Skins and Griffin using the sidelines to try and get back into this game. They'll need to.
3:59: Regardless of what happens, the Griffin to Fred Davis connection makes me warm.
4:02: Skins driving. Having a hard time processing why the clock didn't stop on the Hankerson grab as he trotted out of bounds. If you want to say he stepped out fine, but he did get clocked on the sideline after going out of bounds. Late hit if you ask me.
4:03: Dear Commissioner Goodell, GFY.
4:04: Commissioner Goodell, seriously, I'm as qualified as most replacement refs. I have Sundays free. Take me off Skins games and you got yourself a
4:09: Niles Paul = most unpopular Redskin of 2012. And it's only Week 3. Josh Morgan begs to differ but I stand by that proclamation.
4:11: One score game as we hit the 2 minute warning. I have to pee. DAMNIT.
4:15: 1:47 to play and the Skins start from the 1. Eternal damnation.
4:17: Odd that Griffin would paint the sidelines on the previous drive but then opt to go up the middle w/ less than two minutes left.
4:24: Clusterf*ck on iceskates. I have no idea what just happened. Game ends with a last second heave by Griffin that lands harmlessly somewhere in Hyattsville. Bungles almost give it all back, hang on to win 38-31.
4:29: A wholly unsatisfying performance from the Redskins. Defense made strides in the second half but the big plays made it impossible for the offense to comeback. Griffin was good in spots but inconsistent reading the defense and throwing the ball. Replacement officials made us continue to yearn for Ed Hocculi and co.
4:31: If you read all this, I hope you were drinking. I sure was. Sidebar - our defense from 2-3 years ago would have slit some throats to have 30+ points scored just once in a game. This team has done it three straight weeks. Anyway, enjoy the rest of your Sunday, kids. I've got a drink calling my name. Adios.
