8:41: Can't tell if Queen Latifah was lip syncing. Also as perplexing: Queen wearing Peyton's number on a Giants jersey. With rhinestones no less.
8:42: Forgive me if I seem at a loss for words right now. Still trying to convince myself that I just saw a kickoff that didn't go for a touchback. Seems like ... years.
8:45: After the G-men go three and out, the Cowboys promptly respond with ... one of their own. White knuckle action, folks. WELCOME BACK, FOOTBALL!!
8:51: Who had the first botched penalty call from a replacement ref at three minutes and 20 seconds into the first quarter? I was betting sooner.
8:54: Seriously, it's Wednesday.
8:59: If we ever get a Tuesday season opener, I'm not sure there will be a happy marriage anywhere in this country.
9:02: Ten minutes into the first quarter, and we're just getting the first team across midfield. Not quite a symphony of sport thus far.
9:18: Full disclosure. I've been bored to bits. Just more than 17 minutes into the game and you'd have a hard time convincing anyone this game looks any better than a late preseason contest.
9:22: I was just about to check my pulse before Tony Romo rescued me back to life with an ill-advised throw over the middle. Michael Boley returns that duck 45 yards to inside the Cowboys 5-yd line. Meanwhile, I can avoid coffee. For a few minutes at least.
9:26: Rex Ryan's better half is pumped, as his defense makes a stand (with a little help from ... shocker, a missed call at the goal line) and the Cowboys hold NY to 3.
9:29: In case anyone was wondering, my game time grub? Homemade baked chicken and waffles. Be impressed.
9:31: Orlando Scandrick may me an average nickel cornerback for the Dallas Cowboys but I'll only remember him for being on Bravo's "Million Dollar Listing: Los Angeles".
9:34: Another Dallas possession, another punt. I wonder what baseball is doing right now ...
9:36: Oh right, 9-0 Nats.
9:38: Four minutes left in the first half, Giants still up by trey. Quick recap of the game thus far:
Very few things happened. Thank you.
9:41: Seriously, very little going on.
9:41: In all honestly, aside from two botched calls, the replacements refs have gone largely unnoticed thus far. Which is a good thing, all things considered. Of course, all this good will goes out the window as soon as a crucial call gets blow in a huge spot. No pressure, boys.
9:47: Coming out of the two minute warning, we get our first big offensive play of the game. Romo and Bryant hook up for 38 yards and a big third down conversion. And a small piece of soul dies.
9:51: Aaaaand there goes another piece. Romo makes something out of nothing and finds Stephen Ogletree over the middle for six. [expletive deleted]
9:53: Brief mention about the most valuable NFL franchises, with the Cowboys and Patriots clocking in at 1 and 2, followed by ... the Redskins?
9:55: Seriously, three playoff wins since 1991. And somehow, the 'Skins fan base has continued to pour money into Dan Snyder's piggy bank. To the tune of $1.63 billion. There went another piece of my soul.
9:59: Oh yeah, we're at half. 7-3 Cowboys a.k.a. the greater of two evils.
10:15: Second half underway. Barely had a chance to re-warm my seat before Romo fires a strike to ... surprise, Stephen Ogletree for their second TD connection of the night. And simultaneously, millions of fantasy football nerds hit the the waiver wire. 14-3 in favor of the bad guys with stars on their helmets.
10:21: Commercial comment: The more the cell phone companies push shared data plans, the longer I will cling to my unlimited data plan, despite the awful service. This is my terrible plot for revenge.
10:29: A minute after slandering the Giants' run game on twitter, Ahmad Bradshaw scampers in for six on the heels of a 30-yd lob from Manning to Hixon. I am .. .the Jinx. 14-10 Dallasucks.
10:32: Sidenote. As awesome as Nike is at ... everything, these new NFL jerseys have some really unfortunate sweat spots, most notably, on darker jerseys. Can't say I can remember seeing anything remotely similar on the Reebok threads. Playdry > Dri - fit.
10:40: As much as it pains me to say this, Romo has been much smarter with the ball since the pick in the first half. He extended the play with his feet before finding Ogletree on the first score, did it again on the last play to avoid the sack in the red zone here in the third quarter.
Of course, it may be a function of how inconsistent the Dallas O line has been thus far. But like, you know, whatever.
10:44: Following my praise of Romo ... a sack and a near pick in the end zone. DAL settles for a field goal to push their lead back to 7. End of the third quarter and suddenly, I hear my memory foam mattress whispering. Ever so slightly.
10:48: Clicked over to the DNC for a wake up call. Regardless of your politics, if President Clinton speaks, you have to watch. Totally kicking ass.
10:53: Back to football. Giants punt. Seriously, there's more action at the DNC right now then there is at Giants Stadium.
10:58: Cowboys on the move in the 4th. After Miles Austin checks in with a first down grab, DeMarco Murray gashes the Giants' D up the middle. Looks like another slow start on both sides of the ball for Big Blue.
11:03: Highlight of the game so far: Romo bumps into Murray on the exchange, Murray runs for the first down but plows into Dez Bryant, sending him to the turf and inadvertently cutting off his run by 2-3 yds. Fantastic.
11:07: Miles Austin picked a good time to wake up and start playing. Romo finds him for a 34-yrd grab to make it a two score game. 24-10 C-boys. [expletive deleted]
11:10: Clicking back to the DNC. Seems to be a lot of chanting during Clinton's speech. I'm hoping the President channels The Rock and yells, "WHOA, THIS ISN'T SINGALONG WITH BUBBA!"
11:14: Giants trying to come back. And then ...
Pass to Cruz. Drop. Repeat x 3.
Baffling. He's literally killing drives.
11:21: Deion & Peyton in Directv ads? Comedy gold.
11:22: Giants driving. Bradshaw pitter patters to convert a 4th and 1. Looked real tentative but got the job done.
11:23: Right after the conversion, Eli finds Bennett in the back of the end zone to bring Big Blue within 7. Fingertips on the ball, toes in bounds, great grab. 24-17 Caballeros.
11:27: I know it's a tight game, approaching two minutes ... but I'd like to mention that Osi Umemyiora and Eli Manning appear to have "special" helmets.
11:30: Former Redskin and current Giants' CB Justin Tryon appears to wearing a bull's eye, at least to Romo he does. Got beat by Ogletree to convert on 3rd down and essentially seal the game.
11:33: Cowboys enter the victory formation and I prepare for the fetal position. Dallas takes the season opening 24-17 over the defending champion Giants. Had a good time tonight, hope you did too. Til next time.
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