THURSDAY MUSINGS: The Hangover

(image by Bobby Rubio / http://www.alcatrazhigh.com/)

It's been five days. I guess it's not the longest hangover I've had.

To clarify, this isn't an alcohol induced hangover (though it very well could have been). This is a sports hangover. A DC sports hangover specifically, courtesy of your WASHINGTON CAPITALS (@!#$#$^%!!!).

Now, if you are curious as to what constitutes a 'DC sports hangover', the symptoms are largely the same as a regular hangover. That is ... there's nausea, vomiting, a little whining and self-loathing, acute sensitivity to light, a headache, feelings of regret ... and of course, late night pizza. Except for the DC sports fan, these symptoms aren't the result of a night of binging, but rather days, weeks, months, even years of seemingly misguided allegiances to perennially failing institutions in the world of sport.

For anyone unfortunate enough to share my fanaticism, you will know this variety of hangover pretty well. It happens every spring, when the Capitals inevitably walk the plank in the NHL playoffs. It happens when the Wizards fall out of playoff contention. Or mid-November, whichever happens first. (Because of the lockout, you could argue that the Wizards were never in playoff contention this year so there shouldn't have been any hangover to begin with. To which I will say, eat me.) And for Redskins fans - there are a few in DC, despite all the Cowboy/Steeler/Eagle placards you see in the area - our hangovers are either weekly or bi-monthly throughout the regular season. Even with the addition of RG3, it's hard to imagine a rookie coming out of the gate and firing on all cylinders so I suspect this season will be no different. (Don't say I didn't warn you.)

But alas, after about a week of quiet reflection (and complete shunning of ESPN), I've rehydrated, I'm back on solid foods ... I'm ready for the world again. And despite the soul-crushing loss to the New York Rangers (and the subsequent loss of Coach Hunter to ... Canadian farm life), I can honestly say that the excitement of this post-season run by the Capitals was well worth it, if for no other reason but to provide a glimpse at a team capable of exceeding expectations. Now, pass the Advil.

QUICK HITTERS

- The Nationals were noticeably absent from the above rant, largely because ... there's still reason for optimism (albeit cautious optimism). Despite a rash of injuries, a dearth of run support and the incessant efforts of interim closer Henry Rodriguez to DESTROY THE UNIVERSE, DC's boys of summer are sitting in first place of the National League East. Granted, we're not even into June yet but it's encouraging to see this team power through some rough patches with damn fine pitching and timely hitting.

- Speaking of hitting, some kid named Harper ... plays for the Nats I think ... he stroked a couple good hits. That is, two homers and triple in his last three games. Not bad for a 19 year old in his rookie campaign. Then again, all those accomplishments, along with an epic steal of home base, might be trumped by this:

UFC Octagon Girl, Brittany Palmer and lucky bastard, Bryce Harper

(image: Tracy Lee / Yahoo sports)

- The Redskins unveiled their modern interpretation of a throwback uni to commemorate their 80th anniversary. This after the disastrous debut of Nike's revamped NFL uniforms which ... looked exactly like the old Reebok uniforms. The verdict? A decisive 'Meh'. I don't mind the darker hues of burgundy and gold so much as I mind the obvious similarities to both Florida State's and Boston College's respective duds. For my money, the 'leather' helmets are a 10 but it seems other fans don't share my sentiment. I would love an in person look at all these to get a better feel for them. Better yet, in-person, on a Redskin, no more than 50 yards away from me. Please. 

- That said, no matter how the jersey looks up close, it will NEVER top the 70th anniversary jersey (of which I am a proud owner):

- The NBA playoffs are going on. I say that because I assume someone cares about such things. 

- This has nothing to do with sports but 'The Avengers' F**KING RULED. Yes, I am a nerd, and yes, I have been waiting with baited breath since 2008 for this movie. But damnit, if that wasn't a movie ANYONE could get behind. Great job by Mark Ruffalo in bringing the Hulk to life. Great interactions between him and Tony Stark. Great ensemble cast. Another great turn as Loki for Tom Hiddleston. As noted radio personality Robb Spiewak would say, just GREAT. 

That's all I got today. Appreciate everyone and anyone that took a moment to read this. I know I've been way sporadic posting in the last two months but hopefully, I can keep at it from here on in. Later, friends. 

Cletus with Gloves: UFC on FOX 2 LIVE BLOG

821: Quick word on the choice of analysts. Couture is a 10 on the mic. As for Jon Jones, as a fighter, I'm all in. That said, he has as much charisma as my punching bag. Doesn't help that he was constantly looking at his notes. Considering how Brock came across on UFC on Fox 1, UFC might want to consider NOT employing current fighters as analysts.

825: Chris Weidman vs. Demian Maia - Round 1. Pretty hard round to score so far. Weidman with the crisper strikes but Maia responding well. Very even fight, slight edge to Chris. 10-9 Weidman.

827: It could be the way the mics are set, or the fact that the first round was too close to call. Either way, from what I can tell, this Chicago crowd is straight ass so far.

828: The biggest loss for the UFC in losing Mark Munoz from the card? Not being able to repeat his nickname as 'the Filipino Wrecking Machine' a billion times.

829: Into the 2nd round. Again, even round to this point but Weidman is obviously landing with the lead left. Shocker, this crowd of Chicago dullards is booing.

831: Here's a great drinking game for you kids that are into that kind of thing: For every time Mike Goldberg says 'headkick', consume. You would be surprised how blitzed you get. Really, it's the weirdest quirk about Goldie as a commentator. It's like he's so excited at the notion of someone getting kicked in the head that he can't even muster another word  to describe the action except 'headkick'.

834: 3rd Round. Based on the jabs and the takedowns, I had the 2nd  round narrowly for Weidman. Granted, this hasn't been a very exciting fight but this crowd really blows. The slam by Weidman barely elicited some 'ooohs' from the audience. Just awful.

837: Note to Dana White: Cross Chicago off the list. Forever. Thanks. Can I get a RT?

840: After three, I'll give Maia his token round. Fight could go either way but I've got Weidman 29-28. Winner by Split Decision: Chris Weidman. 

841: LOL @ Bruce Buffer. He called Chris the victor... but pointed at Demian Maia. Classy.

842: Kind of an awkward moment. No customary post fight interview for Weidman. Looked like he was standing around waiting for Joe Rogan to ask him about the bout, maybe ask if he had any shoutouts. Oops.

846: Chael Sonnen gives another great promo. He could use a little more coaching on loving the camera though. CHAEL, WE'RE OVER HERE.

848: Don't know how Fox let's 'Goddamn' slip through in a video package. Amateurish.

855: Chael Sonnen vs Michael Bisping - Round 1. Quick take down by Sonnen after a short exchange. This round should be very telling, in terms of where this fight will take place.

Sidebar - I think someone may have sprayed the audience with adrenaline. They might have a pulse now.

859: After two early takedowns, Bisping is really controlling the position by going to the clinch. Both guys seem to be butting heads quite a bit. Sonnen looks a bit tentative to start. 10-9 Bisping.

901: We have a Brittany Palmer sighting. My night is made.

902: Second round under way.

903: 'Sonnen looks terrible here.' Might be Joe Rogan's best analysis of the night. THIS IS WHY HE GETS THE BIG BUCKS.

905: This fight has been a whole lotta nothing. Sonnen has been largely ineffective after scoring a takedown. Bisping is controlling the pace but it seems like he's just holding position against the cage to guard against the takedown. I'll give it to Chael on the takedown but I really don't want to. 10-9 Sonnen.

908: Someone's going to have to explain to me if/when non-title fights will go five rounds. Not that this fight needs it but it's for the #1 contender-ship. Seems kinda important. Just saying.

909: Third round. Sonnen lands a brutal double leg takedown. Chael quickly takes his back, transitions BEAUT-I-FULLY to a full mount. If he can finish the round this way, it'll leave a lasting impression.

912: Five rounds, Dana. What's up?

913: I've got it 29-28 Sonnen but round 2 is a coinflip in my eyes. How do you score two close rounds and one fairly decisive round?

914: Sidebar - I really hope Fox is in it for the long haul. Three fights on Fox so far and not a single finish. Pray for patience.

915: Winner (and evidently the best fighter in the world) by unanimous decision: Chael Sonnen. I wish I could get a transcript of that post fight 'interview'/ promo.

917: I think someone snuck some quaaludes in Goldie's Snapple. Rogan too for that matter. Neither seem really jazzed for tonight's show but they certainly picked up the energy level talking about next week's pay-per-view. Coincidence?

922: Talking up the Davis - Evans contest and they showed a list of top 10 light heavyweights. Forest Griffin is still listed in the top 10. That should tell you all you need to know about the rankings.

923: I know the UFC is fighting to steer clear of pro wrestling at all costs. That said, they could really benefit by having the WWE produce their video packages. Wake me when the fight starts.

930: So much for hearing about Phil Davis. Oh well, on to the fight.

931: It's hilarious that Bones and Rashad are 'beefing'. Their personalities are almost exactly the same. Every 'clever' comment they make seems totally forced. In fact, nothing they say comes across as authentic. I hope you recognize this, Dana.

936: I'm curious if Rashad is really as relaxed as he seems. I wonder how quickly he'll get off (pause) against the younger guy in Davis.

940: A pro-Rashad crowd. But not by much. This crowd can suck it.

941: Rashad Evans vs Phil Davis - Round 1. Davis is moving well so far, showing now sign of rust but not much going on. Lots of feeling out.

945: Evans catches one of many kicks from Phil, keeps the single and sweeps to land the takedown. Davis in trouble, fighting out of a crucifix position. Phil frees himself but the damage is done. Solid round for Sugar. Unfortunately. 10-9 Evans.

947: It's almost 10 and we've yet to see an ounce of 'the beautiful Arianny'. I call foul.

948: Into round 2. Davis looks more active standing but he's struggling to use his reach advantage. He's obviously working to land a takedown but the leg kicks and combinations aren't doing anything to set it up.

950: Since midway through the first, you could see Sugar really stalking and controlling where the fight is actually taking place in the cage. More of the same through two.

952: Evans lands another takedown just as he did in the first. Catches a high kick from Davis and pulls the single leg into a takedown. A couple solid elbows in the sidemount from Rashad. Pretty impressive showing thus far for Rashad. 10-9 Rashad.

954: Round 3, underway. Interesting that they ID Jeremy Piven in the crowd but not Michael Vick in the same row. Curious.

956: Safe to say the inexperience of Davis is shining through. Nearly through the third and Evans is starting to pick Phil apart. Davis finally lands a desperate takedown but Evans escapes with relative ease. Even w/ the takedown, Evans seemed to control the round from beginning to end. 10-9 Evans. 


1001: Round 4 underway. To answer the most egregious injustice of the night, I give you ...

You're welcome. 

1004: Davis is gassed. Rashad is being Rashad. A ho-hum penultimate round. 10-9 Evans and going for the sweep. 


1005: Perfect sentiment for this fight. From the ever so articulate Chad Dukes ...

"Why the UFC booked Rashad Evans for a @UFConFOX fight is beyond me. He's an excellent fighter but is NOT going to excite first time viewers."

Could not say it better. He'd better finish Phil in the 5th.

1006: Fifth and final round. I'm going to keep watching after the fight for the inevitable Jones/Evans post-fight confrontation.

1009: I need Joe Silva's job. At least when it comes to the Fox cards. A couple featherweight fights would have been nice for the noobs. Maybe the next lightweight title bout. Just something with the potential for excitement. Please?

1012: Clean sweep for Sugar. Book it. We'll see you in Atlanta. Jones. Evans. Fireworks. 10-9 Evans.

1014: I'll go into more detail on this later but I really think the UFC really blew it with this card on Fox. This was a golden opportunity to really reel in the casual viewer. And the card even before the Munoz injury looked okay at best. Evans is a tough sell for seasoned and rookie viewers alike. Odd that he was the centerpiece for this card.

1018: Winner by unanimous decision: Rashad Evans. Jones stays in the booth. DAMNATION.

1020: Decent night of fights but it could have been so much more. Thanks for those that followed along. I'll have further analysis shortly. Good game, kiddos. 

Drop 'Bows: UFC 117 Live Blog

Firstly, how a fight that will determine the new #1 contender in the Heavyweight division is the OPENING FIGHT OF THE CARD... is beyond me. But onward and upward...

Fight 1) Junior Dos Santos v. Roy "Big Country" Nelson

Round 1 - Man, Jon Kruk is making major progress in his MMA career.

Seriously, I'm amazed at just how Big Country gets into the ring, let alone get out there and compete the way he does. Anyway, JDS launching combination after combination, with the uppercut doing the most damage. Somehow, Roy is still standing (maybe the gut is keeping him centered). JDS showing remarkable balance, with Roy repeatedly driving hard for the takedown. Roy is eating (no pun) some serious shots. First round is easily 10-9 JDS.

Round 2 - Junior seems to be slowing but landing solid. Despite all the damage, Roy is one tough bastard and somehow, he's getting off some solid right hands. JDS showing off a chin (kind of a revelation). Good to see Junior didn't blow his load in the first, trying to finish Big Country. Not quite as dominating a round for JDS (and the takedown attempt seemed questionable) but definitely 10-9 JDS.

Round 3 - Not that Roy ever really comes out with a great deal of pace but he's nearly glacial at this point. Rogan is really calling out Big Country for his physique (or lack thereof). I don't know if he'd be significantly better dropping 20-30 lbs but it might make his takedowns more effective. JDS keeping up the pressure, lands the takedown (!), lets him up (as if to say, "THERE, I did it."). Even if he catches JDS at this point, it doesn't look like Roy can put down the Brazilian. Gonna be really interesting to see Junior lob that uppercut at Brock's somewhat questionable chin. JDS FTW.

WINNER AND #1 CONTENDER FOR THE HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE: JDS by unanimous decision.

Match 2 - Matt Hughes vs. Ricardo Almeida

Round 1 - Lots of feeling out, with Matt looking to find the range. Almeida moving around quite a bit, Hughes showing great patience. EFFFFFFFFFFFF.... Hughes catches Almeida with a left, MATT IN FOR THE KILL. Front headlock is on tight, not quite a guillotine but Matt is cinching that thing in tight. Almeida stops for a nap. Freaking. Epic.

WINNER: THE GREATEST WELTERWEIGHT IN UFC HISTORY (for now) MATT HUGHES, submission by induced sleepiness... from a front facelock.

Match 3 - Clay Guida vs. Rafael Dos Anjos

Round 1 - New camp, same 'tweaker in the cage' look for Clay. (BTW, I just want to go on record as saying, Clay Guida has the best entrance music in the UFC. Bar none.) Vicious, I MEAN ABSOLUTELY VICIOUS head kick from Clay. Dos Anjos...still alive it seems. Quick exchanges for both, but Rafael hitting some mean inside leg kicks, Clay only barely able to check 'em. Clay pins Raf against the cage for a prolonged takedown attempt... no dice. Raf fires a mean punch combination, closes w/ a takedown. Was a tough fight to score midway through the round but the round ends definitely for Dos Anjos. 10-9 Dos Anjos.

Round 2 - I'll admit I was mildly distracted throughly Round 2 ("OOH a piece o' candy..."). I do manage to catch Clay landing a takedown toward the end of the round. Obviously, if Clay's gonna overtake Raf in this fight he's gonna have to take this fight to the ground. GUESTIMATE: 10-9 clay.

Round 3 - Clay quickly takes it to the mat and then... tap out? Really? Looks like Dos Anjos could've broken his jaw and the pressure from Clay just put it over the top.

WINNER: Clay Guida by submission (breaking face).

Btw, the celebrity/sponsor shoutouts... Clay Guida is open for business.

James Toney Interview - Lights Out rocking standard mma D-bag attire (Who says he doesn't fit in?!) ... mumbles unintelligible trash talk, possibly calls Randy Couture 'princess' in the process... instructs Randy to 'pay the electric bill... or he'll turn out the lights.' The one and only James Toney!

Pre-recorded filler: Stefan Struve v. H.P. Lovecraft (or Morecraft... whatever, he's Crafty)

Round 1 - Ok, so Struve is approx. 6'12''... give or take. I don't know how anyone ever hits him in the face w/o jumping but somehow... they do. Christian Morecraft (finally got a clue from Mr. Rogan) gets Struve to the mat and starts doing work from the guard on the Scandanavian Stringbean Struve (no applause). Solid hammerfists, pretty good assortment of punches from Morecraft. Round pretty much repeats as such. 10-9 Morecraft.

Round 2 - Okay, Morecraft is demoted to Lovecraft once more. Rather than take the fight to the mat, Lovecraft decides it's a good move to stand and trade w/ a guy 3 inches taller and roughly 2 feet of reach on him. Bombs from all angles until Struve lands a vicious straight right that drops Lovecraft. 37 punches on the ground and Herb Dean says no soup for you, Lovey.

WINNER: Struve by knockout (and horseshoe up his ass).

Co-Main Event: Jon Fitch vs. Thiago Alves (#1 contendership at stake)

*Alves is over by a half pound, gives up 20% of his purse, none of his lunch.

Round 1 - Say what you will about Jon's style, I would LOVE to see him get another crack at GSP. As calculated as St. Pierre is, Fitch seems equally up to the task technically. Fitch basically leads off the round on Thiago's back. Fitch gets stuffed on the takedown but he's switching position continuously... tenacious until he gets it. Alves powers out into a reversal but Fitch does well controlling the guard. Fight moves back to standing and Jon seems content to exchange... shocker (really). Pretty crisp shots from both. 10-9 Jon...easy.

Round 2 - Stepped away to watch this one closer. Jon just controlled the positioning throughout. 10-9 Grizzly man.

Round 3 - Thiago trying to get loose but can't seem to get out of the blocks. I can't believe how many times Thiago has driven forward yet he still manages to let Jon get around to his back. Another trip, another 3 mins on the mat. Fitch looks to close w/ a RNC but Thiago manages to Hulk out and end up on top. A little fidgeting about but no danger for either side. Fitchy finishes w/ a clean sweep. 10-9 for the unanimous decision.

WINNER: Jon Jon Phenonmenon (unanimously I might add).

Main Event: UFC Middleweight Championship - Spider Silva vs. Congressman Sonnen

I'll go on record as saying I despise Spider. Ever since the Maia fight. His record of jackassery in the octagon makes my head hurt. That said, I care very little about the Congressman from Oregon. While Chael's been entertaining in the build up for this fight, I can't imagine this Fox News poster boy rocking the belt. So basically, this is the perfect scenario in that... I care nothing about the outcome of this fight. I just want a good fight. Hopefully, this is the the math...

A motivated Spider + trash talking nut that's NOT his countryman = highlight reel knockout finality.

Round 1 - Josh Rosenthal, you are now the one seed. Don't blow it.

Ok, two minutes in... and I have no words. Be back after the fight.

So... Spidey... how's that chin? Is your spider sense going crazy? 10-9 AMERICA.

Round 2 - Gambling Spider = Sonnen takedown. Solid top control from Chael for much of the round but Spider is defending well. Not nearly as many clear shots from Chael. Still, scary how ineffective Spider has been from every angle. Silva goes for a couple quick submission attempts as the round closes, with little to no significant threat. 10-9 White Floyd Mayweather.

Round 3 - Razzle dazzle moment of the round: spinning back heel from Spider to kick things off.

Other than that, more of the same, i.e. Spider gambles w/ some shots, Chael lands the takedown, freeze frame. Not that we're seeing Chael lay-and-pray but Spider has really just been unable to escape. Again, solid guard from Spider but the round goes to Chael, 10-9.

Round 4 - Trouble in the heartland, as Silva comes out swinging. Short elbow buckles Sonnen. Silva seems to realize he needs to pull something out of his ass to win this fight, and he's taking a LOT of chances. Spider ends up on top of Sonnen after a failed takedown attempt but Sonnen suddenly finds Jesus and turns Silva over for the reversal. Unreal. Round closes much like the previous three. I'll give Spider a token round here just based on the damage he caused at the start of the round, then toward the end. Could go either way on the score cards though. 10-9 the Curitaba Peter Parker.

Round 5 - I have no words... again. Silva pulled a rabbit out of his ass... and by rabbit I mean triangle.

WINNER: SILVA. by miracle.

Ladies and Gents, Brock Lesnar and the UFC 116 Players!

Um...whoa.

For all the speculation about UFC 116 not pulling in as many viewers as expected, this was one HELL of an event. An undercard w/ mostly unheralded fights (at least to the general public) delivered big, and the main event gave fight fans something to remember for a long time.

I'll get to Brock/Carwin in a minute. (FYI, I was tempted to refer to him as Shane, like he was suddenly a household name after that fight. Which he should be. But that's neither here nor there.) The opener was as expected, w/ George Sotiropolous pulling out the decision over Kurt Pellegrino but MAN, did Kurt come within an eyelash of stealing that fight.

Chris Lytle gave us something we don't see everyday, in submitting Matt Brown w/ a "reverse triangle/crucifix". (I'm going to need pie charts and an easel to figure that one out.) The Bonnar/Kyrstof rematch was epic, if only for "the pose" post-match from a victorious Stephan Bonnar. (BTW I think I found my new avatar for the next six months.) The war that preceded it wasn't bad either.

And of course...there's Leben/Sexiyama. Like a lot of fight fans, I was legit bummed that Wanderlei couldn't compete against the Japanese/Korean fighter. But when the UFC threw in Chris Leben as a replacement, I immediately thought, 'Has he even had a chance to take his gloves off from the last fight?! WTF.'

And then last night happened...

Un. Freaking. Believable.

Despite being noticeably gassed by the middle of Round 2, Sexiyama manage to level some damaging shots against the Crippler right up until the bitter end. But the Legend of Leben was too much for him to overcome, and we saw just what makes Chris...Chris. Two weeks removed from stopping Aaron Simpson at the TUF finale, the Crippler turned in another heroic performance in tapping Sexiyama w/ a triangle and instantly, became one of my favorite fighters. BRAH. VO.

And now...the piece de resistance... the main event. Brock. Shane. Fisticuffs.

If I had a nickel for every time I heard and/or screamed the phrase, "HOLY SH*T, BROCK'S DONE" in that first round, well...I would have a lot of freaking nickels. Watching it live (at a Hooters no less), the crowd, myself included, was IN-CREDULOUS that referee Josh Rosenthal seemingly turned a blind eye to the shellacking Big Bad Brock was enduring. And it's not as if I wasn't expecting the long leash. I even went through the trouble of explaining to my girlfriend that the referees usually back off in championship fights. But with that said, even she couldn't believe the fight was going on.

Now, having been 24 hours removed from the fight, my feelings on the non-stoppage have waned a bit. However, I am still comfortable saying there have been scores of big fights stopped under circumstances much less dire than the one Brock Lesnar faced last night... with that circumstance being a 270 lb. monster raining down cinder-block fists and pick-axe elbows in rapid succession. Take into account that we've never seen anyone (Frank Mir included) put Brock in that much trouble in the Octagon. That alone should have signaled he was on the eve of destruction.

Ultimately, while it was far from pretty, Brock weathered the storm, shook off some of the ring rust and displayed his mettle by enduring the most legitimate threat to his title reign yet. Seriously, who had 'arm triangle' or anything other a fist to the face in their pool as the finish to this melee?

In then end, I think we all feel richer for having seen this performance from the Next Big Thing. However, the same can't be said for Shane Carwin. And that's probably why this whole deal doesn't sit well with me, the fact that Shane got hosed on this fight. Given that he was getting paid peanuts to take on Brock (see 'TEN TO ONE RATIO'), it was ostensibly a no-win situation, in that, not only did he have to win to make any significant coin, he had to do it impressively to boot. And to his credit, he did just that; Shane did exactly what he had done in his 12 previous fights, which was annihilate his opponent for three minutes plus. Only this time, that opponent was the undisputed heavyweight champ/UFC cash cow. You do the math.

I will trust Josh Rosenthal heard and saw more than we did from Brock last night in the midst of that first round 'exchange'. Just try telling that to Shane Carwin right now.

In spite of that slight unpleasantness, this was a strong show for Dana and co. Given the string of duds that have plagued several recent UFC events (Rashad, 'Page, I'm lookin' at you), this was a nice turnaround. Hopefully, there were a great many fight fans who were able to pay witness. Now, if only we could be certain this goodwill lingers for Spider Silva at UFC 117...

On second thought, that might be pushing it.