WHICH ONE DO I WATCH?! Skins vs. Texans Live Blog, 9/19

Okay, if you're reading this, you're probably wondering why I'm starting the season blogging on this game and not last week's 'Thrilla in DC...illa'. (Yeah, I'm not good w/ names.) I'll explain by saying... I have no explanation. I was so giddy w/ gold-pants fever that it never even entered my mind to blog it. Total blonde moment. Fail.

But I digest. Onward and upward.

4:31: "McNasty" has been just that so far... yetI'm still disappointed. In the meantime, I'm gonna put the finishing touches on my Graham Gano personalized jersey on NFLshop.com. 6-0 skins.

4:42: So this is what a running attack looks like...

Side note: I'm totally rooting for my own fantasy demise, unless this turns into a shootout. (This is TOTALLY what I didn't miss about fantasy football.)

4:48: Not entirely unexpected result, given the way the Texans were moving the ball. Shocker, the td pass just happens to land to RIGHT IN FRONT OF CARLOS "I'm supposed to catch the ball?" ROGERS. 7-6 the other texas team.

4:51: HUGE. FREAKING. BOMB. McNabb to Galloway for 62 yards (though it probably feels like 200 yards for the league's lone sexagenarian).

4:54: We have a Clinton Portis sighting. In the end zone no less. I have no words. 13-7 good guys.

4:58: If I ever became a sportscaster, and Mike Sellers actually did something good, I would obligated to utter the words, "And IT'S A SELLERS MARKET!" (Stu Scott, Swami, you're welcome.).

5:05: Quick story: Now that he's no longer an Eagle I can say this w/o flattering any screwboy eagles fans. Before the end of the season last year, I was totally, secretly hoping Philly would let McNabb walk... and somehow, wind up in DC. I just couldn't fathom a scenario in which they would be stupid enough to jump on the Kevin Kolb bandwagon before he was ready. Couldn't see it. Impossible. Moronic if they did it.

I give 'smart' ppl too much credit sometimes.

5:16: Srsly, where the hell did the first half go? Anyway, McNasty is inexplicably looking for Sellers (who gets an E for effort, while Fred Davis gets an A; -0.5 for not sticking the landing though). Skins driving. Fast.

5:22: I'm just shocked at how the skins are dominating the game at the line. Sick nasty. Anyway, CP with his 2nd td run (kind of killing me fantasywise but I'll live with it). 20-7 maroon and black (shouts out to Jim Zorn).

6:02: I've been drinking and scouring the fantasy waiver wire for the last 40 minutes. Sue me. Anyway... HOW BOUT THEM SKINS?!!

Srsly, the run game is concerning but the intermediate passes have more than made up for our deficiencies on the ground. I'm enjoying this right about now. 27-10 mcnasty n co.

6:39: okay, different game now at 27-20. But it was inevitable that the offense would taper off going into the second half. Defense finally comes through in a big spot on 3rd and 7 for the texans. Woosah.

6:50: Starting to sweat. Not liking the soft zone the skins seem to be sitting in. D really needs to tighten up but they just might be too tired at this stage.

6:52: Speechless. Can't believe Dre wasn't double teamed the second he came out of the locker room.

7:03: WHY WON'T THE STEPHAN HEYER SHOW EVER END?!!?

Wait, who's who? VT vs BSU Live Blog

Firstly, I just want to thank the fine folks at Nike for the newly designed 'Pro Combat' line of uniforms. Thank you again for the annual confusion that comes with you completely redesigning the team unis so that the teams are completely unrecognizable from year to year.

Thought I was watching Kentucky play Miami for a minute and a half.

Anyway, on with the show!

8:14PM: Points on the board, as Brent Musberger so astutely points out that the kicker only kicks from the right. Kind of like how Costanza can't make a move on a girl if she's sitting on his right.

8:15: Come to think of it, I don't think I've seen a full Tech game in about 3 years. And I'm pretty sure the last time I did, Tyrod Taylor was turning the ball over. Freaky.

8:18: Stop me if you've heard this one before: the home team at FedEx field, having MAJOR O-line issues.

8:21: Okay, these guys wearing the Wildcat unis are foreal. 10-0 BSU on a great play action pass over the middle.

8:24: I have to admit: I always chuckle at the Dick's ad, with the guy building an island. I heard that guy played football... or something.

8:43: Ok, I had to take a break to fix my keyboard. Mostly b/c I couldn't hit delete fast enough b/c I was starting to write how Tech was starting to pull it together through their defense and special teams.

BTW, the delete button is fully functioning.

8:47: Sick catch by the tight end Gallarda, who probably should've gotten the 6 on the previous play w/ the interference in the end zone.

Side note: I wonder if that one kid (you know, the tech guy who apparently broke the space-time continuum and teleported himself to commit not one, but two penalties ON THE SAME PLAY) will share his knowledge of physics to get the Hokies back into the game.

9:00: They're only 17 minutes late... but they finally showed up. Without further adieu, THE VIRGINIA TECH HOKIES!

9:03: Srsly, Taylor really woke up on that drive... except for that moment when his RB was getting swarmed by defenders, and he just kinda stood back and looked around like, 'What?'

9:06: Looking at the commercial, I kinda wish I watched 'Wall Street Redux' a few weeks ago in Frankfurt when I had the chance.

9:08: The Tech secondary looks as though it's comprised of 4 DeAngelo Halls. And not in a good way.

9:10: HOLY CRAP, it's Tek from Real World Hawaii in a Bud Light ad!

9:14: I guess 'Kickoff at the Capital' sounds better than 'Kickoff approximately 19 miles northeast of the Capital'.

9:18: Here's a shocker: The Boise kid who jawjacked his way into a knucklesandwich last year... commits a personal foul to prolong the Tech drive. Good thing for him the Tech kicker can't go right.

9:25: Ensuing 3rd down for Boise... wasn't so much a fumble, but a rugby pass... to no one. Good hit though.

9:28: Just when I thought Taylor was starting to run too much, he finally used his feet to draw the defender off the receiver to create the opening in the endzone. MUCH SUCCESS!

9:33: The only way ESPN could get more out of the announcers' backdrop is if they asked Brent to turn around and show the cold front moving through the southeast over night.

9:40: Srsly, this is a nice game and all but if these guys screw up this field for Sunday night, there will be hell to pay.

10:50: This game got much better once I opened a bottle of Blue Moon/Honey Moon summer ale. (Not a coincidence that my last post came an hour after said beer was opened). Anyway, pretty impressed w/ how both teams came out in the 2nd half. Taylor has turned his 'whirling dervish' act into effective game management. Meanwhile, Boise's Kellen the QB has somehow made a 7 completion effort into a strong showing. Color me tickled... or buzzed.

11:06: I'm sure this'll be a thrilling finish but this old boy will cork it and watch the rest in bed. I say good day, world.

Drop 'Bows: UFC 117 Live Blog

Firstly, how a fight that will determine the new #1 contender in the Heavyweight division is the OPENING FIGHT OF THE CARD... is beyond me. But onward and upward...

Fight 1) Junior Dos Santos v. Roy "Big Country" Nelson

Round 1 - Man, Jon Kruk is making major progress in his MMA career.

Seriously, I'm amazed at just how Big Country gets into the ring, let alone get out there and compete the way he does. Anyway, JDS launching combination after combination, with the uppercut doing the most damage. Somehow, Roy is still standing (maybe the gut is keeping him centered). JDS showing remarkable balance, with Roy repeatedly driving hard for the takedown. Roy is eating (no pun) some serious shots. First round is easily 10-9 JDS.

Round 2 - Junior seems to be slowing but landing solid. Despite all the damage, Roy is one tough bastard and somehow, he's getting off some solid right hands. JDS showing off a chin (kind of a revelation). Good to see Junior didn't blow his load in the first, trying to finish Big Country. Not quite as dominating a round for JDS (and the takedown attempt seemed questionable) but definitely 10-9 JDS.

Round 3 - Not that Roy ever really comes out with a great deal of pace but he's nearly glacial at this point. Rogan is really calling out Big Country for his physique (or lack thereof). I don't know if he'd be significantly better dropping 20-30 lbs but it might make his takedowns more effective. JDS keeping up the pressure, lands the takedown (!), lets him up (as if to say, "THERE, I did it."). Even if he catches JDS at this point, it doesn't look like Roy can put down the Brazilian. Gonna be really interesting to see Junior lob that uppercut at Brock's somewhat questionable chin. JDS FTW.

WINNER AND #1 CONTENDER FOR THE HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE: JDS by unanimous decision.

Match 2 - Matt Hughes vs. Ricardo Almeida

Round 1 - Lots of feeling out, with Matt looking to find the range. Almeida moving around quite a bit, Hughes showing great patience. EFFFFFFFFFFFF.... Hughes catches Almeida with a left, MATT IN FOR THE KILL. Front headlock is on tight, not quite a guillotine but Matt is cinching that thing in tight. Almeida stops for a nap. Freaking. Epic.

WINNER: THE GREATEST WELTERWEIGHT IN UFC HISTORY (for now) MATT HUGHES, submission by induced sleepiness... from a front facelock.

Match 3 - Clay Guida vs. Rafael Dos Anjos

Round 1 - New camp, same 'tweaker in the cage' look for Clay. (BTW, I just want to go on record as saying, Clay Guida has the best entrance music in the UFC. Bar none.) Vicious, I MEAN ABSOLUTELY VICIOUS head kick from Clay. Dos Anjos...still alive it seems. Quick exchanges for both, but Rafael hitting some mean inside leg kicks, Clay only barely able to check 'em. Clay pins Raf against the cage for a prolonged takedown attempt... no dice. Raf fires a mean punch combination, closes w/ a takedown. Was a tough fight to score midway through the round but the round ends definitely for Dos Anjos. 10-9 Dos Anjos.

Round 2 - I'll admit I was mildly distracted throughly Round 2 ("OOH a piece o' candy..."). I do manage to catch Clay landing a takedown toward the end of the round. Obviously, if Clay's gonna overtake Raf in this fight he's gonna have to take this fight to the ground. GUESTIMATE: 10-9 clay.

Round 3 - Clay quickly takes it to the mat and then... tap out? Really? Looks like Dos Anjos could've broken his jaw and the pressure from Clay just put it over the top.

WINNER: Clay Guida by submission (breaking face).

Btw, the celebrity/sponsor shoutouts... Clay Guida is open for business.

James Toney Interview - Lights Out rocking standard mma D-bag attire (Who says he doesn't fit in?!) ... mumbles unintelligible trash talk, possibly calls Randy Couture 'princess' in the process... instructs Randy to 'pay the electric bill... or he'll turn out the lights.' The one and only James Toney!

Pre-recorded filler: Stefan Struve v. H.P. Lovecraft (or Morecraft... whatever, he's Crafty)

Round 1 - Ok, so Struve is approx. 6'12''... give or take. I don't know how anyone ever hits him in the face w/o jumping but somehow... they do. Christian Morecraft (finally got a clue from Mr. Rogan) gets Struve to the mat and starts doing work from the guard on the Scandanavian Stringbean Struve (no applause). Solid hammerfists, pretty good assortment of punches from Morecraft. Round pretty much repeats as such. 10-9 Morecraft.

Round 2 - Okay, Morecraft is demoted to Lovecraft once more. Rather than take the fight to the mat, Lovecraft decides it's a good move to stand and trade w/ a guy 3 inches taller and roughly 2 feet of reach on him. Bombs from all angles until Struve lands a vicious straight right that drops Lovecraft. 37 punches on the ground and Herb Dean says no soup for you, Lovey.

WINNER: Struve by knockout (and horseshoe up his ass).

Co-Main Event: Jon Fitch vs. Thiago Alves (#1 contendership at stake)

*Alves is over by a half pound, gives up 20% of his purse, none of his lunch.

Round 1 - Say what you will about Jon's style, I would LOVE to see him get another crack at GSP. As calculated as St. Pierre is, Fitch seems equally up to the task technically. Fitch basically leads off the round on Thiago's back. Fitch gets stuffed on the takedown but he's switching position continuously... tenacious until he gets it. Alves powers out into a reversal but Fitch does well controlling the guard. Fight moves back to standing and Jon seems content to exchange... shocker (really). Pretty crisp shots from both. 10-9 Jon...easy.

Round 2 - Stepped away to watch this one closer. Jon just controlled the positioning throughout. 10-9 Grizzly man.

Round 3 - Thiago trying to get loose but can't seem to get out of the blocks. I can't believe how many times Thiago has driven forward yet he still manages to let Jon get around to his back. Another trip, another 3 mins on the mat. Fitch looks to close w/ a RNC but Thiago manages to Hulk out and end up on top. A little fidgeting about but no danger for either side. Fitchy finishes w/ a clean sweep. 10-9 for the unanimous decision.

WINNER: Jon Jon Phenonmenon (unanimously I might add).

Main Event: UFC Middleweight Championship - Spider Silva vs. Congressman Sonnen

I'll go on record as saying I despise Spider. Ever since the Maia fight. His record of jackassery in the octagon makes my head hurt. That said, I care very little about the Congressman from Oregon. While Chael's been entertaining in the build up for this fight, I can't imagine this Fox News poster boy rocking the belt. So basically, this is the perfect scenario in that... I care nothing about the outcome of this fight. I just want a good fight. Hopefully, this is the the math...

A motivated Spider + trash talking nut that's NOT his countryman = highlight reel knockout finality.

Round 1 - Josh Rosenthal, you are now the one seed. Don't blow it.

Ok, two minutes in... and I have no words. Be back after the fight.

So... Spidey... how's that chin? Is your spider sense going crazy? 10-9 AMERICA.

Round 2 - Gambling Spider = Sonnen takedown. Solid top control from Chael for much of the round but Spider is defending well. Not nearly as many clear shots from Chael. Still, scary how ineffective Spider has been from every angle. Silva goes for a couple quick submission attempts as the round closes, with little to no significant threat. 10-9 White Floyd Mayweather.

Round 3 - Razzle dazzle moment of the round: spinning back heel from Spider to kick things off.

Other than that, more of the same, i.e. Spider gambles w/ some shots, Chael lands the takedown, freeze frame. Not that we're seeing Chael lay-and-pray but Spider has really just been unable to escape. Again, solid guard from Spider but the round goes to Chael, 10-9.

Round 4 - Trouble in the heartland, as Silva comes out swinging. Short elbow buckles Sonnen. Silva seems to realize he needs to pull something out of his ass to win this fight, and he's taking a LOT of chances. Spider ends up on top of Sonnen after a failed takedown attempt but Sonnen suddenly finds Jesus and turns Silva over for the reversal. Unreal. Round closes much like the previous three. I'll give Spider a token round here just based on the damage he caused at the start of the round, then toward the end. Could go either way on the score cards though. 10-9 the Curitaba Peter Parker.

Round 5 - I have no words... again. Silva pulled a rabbit out of his ass... and by rabbit I mean triangle.

WINNER: SILVA. by miracle.

Flying Fail

an ode to flying...

just returned from a short work-related jaunt to the city of chi but alas, even the neatest of excursions can fall apart w/ just a few bad turns at the airport. as such...

• a thank you to the united crew of flight 976... for managing to land early at dulles, even after taking off late. your fine work made me forget the flight to chicago. hail to thee.
• a 'go screw' to the retards who inhabited my plane... your listless lingering in the aisles prior to takeoff, followed by your bulldozing of others (myself included) as we deplaned, made for an awful beginning and end to my flight.
• and finally, a 'go fornicate the nearest electrical socket' to the ground crew at dulles... your incessant lollygagging turned an early arrival into an hour long wait at the baggage claim, with little to no explanation to speak of. i think i speak for many when i say... eat me.

on that note, night world!

The Return

Ladies and gentleman, sound a feasting horn... we have rod.

If you haven't been on my FB or if you're not familiar w/ the linkaging (it's a word...somewhere...), please visit www.bigoanddukes.com... drop trou, and enjoy what hath been bestowed on you.

For those not in the know, a year ago, the DC area suffered a significant loss when WJFK (106.7FM for the numerically inclined) flipped formats from THE GREATEST TALK RADIO STATION EVER to... sports. Only sports. All the time.

It was a slow motion car accident but the radio business sucked (and still does) so... business-wise, the move was understandable. However, in the process, some of the best talk radio in the business went by the wayside, most notably, the Mike O'Meara Show and the Big O and Dukes Show.

Total dagger.

Fortunately, the O'Meara Show resurfaced earlier in the year, in the form of a podcast (http://www.mikeomearashow.com/), which was nice. I think a lot of listeners expected Mike and gang to come back in some form but the same can't be said for O and Dukes. Dukes found new life on the rebranded 106.7 and Oscar ditched EL SOL and joined Mike on his podcast. It appeared that the story of Oscar and Chad had been written...

That is until last week. A short midnight FB post from Oscar and suddenly... the world seems right again. I encourage you to go to www.bigoanddukes.com to get a taste. If you can, go to itunes and search 'big o and dukes' to find old podcasts from the old radio station. I guarantee listening enjoyment. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to do the maneuver...

Top Chef: Live Blog - 7/14/10

-9:01: I just want to go on record as saying Lynn (who was eliminated last week w/ Arnold) was a nasty c-...cook. SUCK FAILURE, granny.

-9:03: And how Angelo ISN'T a line worker at the fudge packing plant...is beyond me.

-9:05: As soon as I clear my credit card, me and the woman is havin' dinner at the Inn at Little Washington. And then I will spend the next 6 months paying off the bill.

-9:07: Tim, sorry, you are the WORST representative for local cuisine. Ever. Prove me wrong.

-9:10: Side note: I got an infield hit and a walk yesterday in softball. How is it that my left arm is seized up like an epileptic kid watchin' anime?

-9:19: I'm half expecting Angelo to accidentally mutter the N word and get wok shoved up his ass. Or not. Would be cool though.

-9:29: Ok, I'm pretty sure Angelo has to go door to door to tell people about his 'indiscretions.' Total creep vibe.

-9:37: WE GET IT, KENNY'S BLACK. BETTER NICKNAMES, amanda.

-9:40: All we need is one more layer and the Pretzel M&Ms will = candy turducken.

-9:42: Tim (before every challenge in which he precipitously falls to the bottom): 'I'm really confident in what I did. I might take this thing down. Goddamn I'm good.'

-9:48: BLACK LIGHTNING STRIKES. (Ok, I had to give the nickname a try.)

-9:50: If Hollywood made a movie inspired by the Fail Blog, would Timothy play the lead? Or at the very least, narrate?

-9:59: No, Tim, you can't roll 7 or 11 on the come out every time. But you sure seemed to crap out. A lot.

-10:00: Okay, seriously, when did Top Chef become Survivor? JUST EFFING COOK.

-10:01: On another note, hello again, China Chow. I'm going to find me a copy of 'The Big Hit' on VHS.

Random Thoughts - Week of July...something or other.

• I'm pretty sure... like 99.9345% sure... 50 cent was supposed to sing the hook on this Clipse track...but then at the last minute they probably thought, 'Eff it, let's just get an impersonator and save that money for weed.'
• FINALLY. Our long national nightmare is over. I will say, LeBron exceeded my expectations... and somehow out-douched himself on his way out of Cleveland.
• FYI, bron^2, very few 'global icons' play the role of second banana. Hope the Miami sun burns off the stench of failure.
  
• And to the good folks of Cleveland... you don't deserve this. I seldom condone hooliganism but in this case, go nuts. I trust the those Heat-Cavs games will make for great training footage for Cleveland riot police.
• Srsly, do my neighbors think they're back walking the streets of Mumbai? THERE IS A SIDEWALK 7 FEET TO YOUR RIGHT. USE IT. (P.S. Using the phone and listening to your ipod as you all walk in the path of my 2 ton deathmachine = asking for it.)
• Anyone got Rosetta Stone: German? Herr John might could be needin' it. Soon.